Challenge Your Limits or Stay Stuck in Them | Episode 475

Challenge Your Limits or Stay Stuck in Them | Episode 475

What if the biggest thing holding you back is not effort, luck, or timing, but the number you quietly decided you deserve? We get honest about limits, the sneaky kind that live in everyday expectations and turn into a ceiling for confidence, mental health, and momentum.

We start with real life: gratitude for the community behind Voices for Voices, why sharing the show matters, and how the nonprofit mission stays alive through listeners. Then we take a detour to a humid baseball field with our new dog Lucy, where trying to support family while managing a curious puppy turns into a surprisingly clear picture of focus, overload, and the pressure to be “perfect” at everything.

From there, we dig into self-limiting beliefs with simple examples that hit hard. If you only plan for the minimum, your brain can start treating that minimum as the maximum. We connect that idea to sports, growing older, career identity, self-esteem, and the midlife feeling of wondering what’s next after the old dreams fade. And we land on a challenge that applies whether you pray, hope, or set intentions: ask for more. Raise the lower limit. Set a bold goal, then take small steps that prove to your mind that you are not stuck.

If this sparked something for you, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What would change this week if you stopped asking for the bare minimum?

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Chapter Markers

0:00 Welcome And Support The Mission

3:32 Mental Health And Self Grace

5:03 Taking Lucy To The Ballgame

16:07 Limits Explained With Everyday Choices

25:57 When Big Dreams Hit Real Life

34:06 Ask For More Than Minimum

41:51 Three Billion People And Thinking Bigger

53:41 Final Thanks And Ways To Help

#VoicesforVoices #MindsetShift #BreakThroughLimits #justiceforjustin #justiceforvoicesforvoicestiktok #ExpectMoreFromYourself #PersonalGrowth #OvercomeLowExpectations #UnlockYourPotential #SelfImprovementTips #ChallengeYourLimits #RiseAboveAverage #EmpowermentJourney #HigherStandards #SetYourGoalsHigh #TransformYourLife #AchieveGreatness #JustinAlanHayes #JustinHayes #help3billion #TikTok #Instagram #truth #Jesusaire #VoiceForChange #HealingTogether #Episode475

Transcript

Welcome And Support The Mission

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes 0:01

Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode. Whether this is your first show or whether you've been with us from the beginning, thank you so much. If you can give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, and maybe even reach out to uh 25, 50, 100 of your contacts on your phone. Let them know about the voices for voices TV show and podcast. We'd greatly appreciate that. And those are all things that are free. If you are able to and you would like to, uh we are voices for voices and voices for voices is a 501c3 nonprofit charity. So any purchase of our books, any donations uh through Cash App, through Venmo, uh through loveloices.org, lovevoices.org, lovevoices.org. So that's lovevoices.org, Venmo, or Cash App, all those donations, as well as the purchasing of any voices for voices, um, publishing books. Uh, and there will be more uh more options to uh to be coming. And we just want to say thank you. We wouldn't be here uh if it wasn't for you. Uh if it wasn't for you, we want to have a show, we'll have a reason to have a show because we would not have anybody to do a show for. Uh so thank you. We are so grateful to have you with us, whether you're again watching, listening, uh, whether you're here in the United States or across the world, uh, we are greatly appreciative of any and all of your love, your support, and tuning in. Again, we're over 470 episodes. And if my math is correct, given with uh episodes that we've filmed and episodes uh to be dropped, uh I believe this will be episode number 475. Uh, you will notice that we are a little bit behind in our social media uh kickoff to let everybody know. Uh so those are to come. Uh but uh our shows are uh available. So if you're watching this show, listening to this show, that means that episode 474 is also watchable, viewable, and again, sharing is caring, and we thank you so much. Uh we're we're gonna uh we did we did uh the previous episode on pretty pretty cool topic, so you'll have to check that out. Uh something I've been meaning to do, and it being the event uh just recently occurred, uh a event that's related to it. And and so I thought, you know what, let's let's do that because it definitely relates to mental health. Uh what else relates to mental health is how much so many ways to share this, how much credit we give ourselves, how much grace we give ourselves, how much belief, how much confidence. I'm just talking about just as a human being, you know, we're we're allowed to get tired, we're allowed to overeat uh from time to time, or take extra take extra sleep, or whatever your aura is, and that's okay. And I think at least as my mental health goes, I beat myself up way too much over it, and it's it it's hard. Um talk about something very very small, uh slightly uh slightly uh related to this particular topic. Uh, but just because we just recently did it, I thought it'd be something that it might you might find helpful. Uh and that is this. So we have a new dog, uh, first-time pet owners, other than you know, the beta fish, goldfish type of deal. Um and so uh uh my nephew had a ball game, found out. So I was like, yeah, let's let's take our dog to the game. It's outside, relatively nice day. I mean, it was hot, a little humid, and and so we'll uh I we went. Uh so it's I took our dog. Um the game before the game we were there to see with my nephew uh was running a little bit a little bit behind. So they started, I think, a little bit behind, so they ended a little bit behind. So it's pretty unusual. Usually we like to try to get there early, but it's it's it's very interesting with these sports, I'm finding, is how often a sports game will be listed to start at as let's say 330, and then you show up at 325, and if it's a baseball game, American baseball, it might already be in the second or third inning, and it's like, what the heck? I I got here early, even if only by a few minutes. Uh and so that that's what happened today. Uh, but the opposite. So we got there early, which we like I said, we we tried to do, and there's a ball game on on the same field, and we're uh and I'm thinking, oh my gosh. And I looked at the scoreboard, and I think it was like the fourth or fifth inning, and I was like, oh my gosh, here we go again. New ball season, at least for for me, the first first ball game uh of my nephews that I've uh been able to get out to, and come to find out it was the game before then. So there was, I think, maybe two innings, maybe three. And because of the way that the the game went, one team won by ten or more runs, and so uh the game ended. I think they would have played, I think, a total of seven innings, and and it ended, I think, after five. I'm still trying to figure that out, but it ended early, and so I'm like I said, I'm I'm trying to figure out what's going on, and I'm like, okay, because then I saw my nephew, and then he saw he saw me, and he saw our dog, Lucy, and he said, as he always he always does, and both my nephews are just so um such class acts, everything they do, you know, they're doing good or not so good. Um, and so he said, Thank thanks for coming, and uh so by the time that the game before his ended, okay, and then warm-ups, which are usually like when I like to get there, is during warmups when they're right, they're American baseball, they're playing catch, the pitchers practicing warming up, you know, they're they're they're practicing, you know, don't infield practice, uh they're hitting out uh pop flies in the air for uh you know the outfielders, and and so that time, so the game before so it was let's call it like 20 minutes or so that they were playing the finish up, plus another 20 minutes to get started. So that's like I'm there with Lucy for 40 minutes, and it was a rather humid day, and we had an Easter egg hunt earlier this morning, and it was even at the earlier hours, uh, and we did a little bit of walking to to to the location where where they were having it, and so we walked, we got there, did the Easter egg hunt, walked home, and she Lucy had her tongue out like and I was like, I think she's thirsty. Uh, you know, you see pictures and stuff. It's like, oh well, that's sometimes that's just the way they that's just their look is is is by having their tongue out. And and it was the first time I think, at least that I've seen, that it looked like that. Uh and and so then fast forward to the ball game, the game starts, and then the home team was my nephew's team, so they go there in the field first on defense. Once they get three outs, then they come in and bat until they get the other team gets that his team out three times. And so this whole time I'm walking not the whole time, a lot of the time I was walking with Lucy, uh especially in between games and warming up, and I'm trying to like, if she's gotta go, you know, go to the potty, like, go ahead. Uh there's there was quite a lot of space. I finally brought my dog my doggy poop bags. Like, I'm ready. And um so then we we we go and we sit down and I'm I'm trying to at least watch a my nephew for a little bit. Like I said, I I haven't had a pet before to go on to a game. I'll pet before first, and then to go to a game, so it's like I have to I can't just focus on my attention because the way my mind works is in the medication and and the therapy and all that stuff. It is to get me to focus as much as I can, and so when I'm with Lucy and then I'm trying to watch my nephew, like so we sat down, we luckily got a good picture uh of Lucy sitting on my lap. My nephew was the next person up the bat, and it just so happens that where they practice swing was right, I mean on the other side of the net, then that's up for safety. They had that for some time because of people getting hurt and not paying attention and and all that. Uh so did that and and Lucy's just I pick her up, I'm like, maybe she'll just you know fall asleep, or at least just be tuckered out. No, she's f fighting down, she's like going in the mulch, uh, going in flower beds, even though the flowers aren't fully bloom yet. And I'm like, no, we don't eat flowers, we don't we don't eat the mulch, and I know she probably doesn't understand, I I get it, but I'm trying to like so, anyways, my mind is I'm trying to focus on my nephew who's just about ready to go bat, and and also Lucy as well, because I don't want her to get loose and somehow get away as that would be that'd be so such a bad, bad thing, uh, for if that would happen. So we had our first game, it was cool. Uh we lasted one inning, but like I said, we were there for probably 45 minutes thereabouts uh the whole time from when we arrived at the ballgame to when the game before finished up to the practice warming up to when the game started. Uh so we got to we got to see our my nephew uh and so it was good. Uh good to to get out and see him. My other nephew was uh a little ways away playing uh playing basketball uh and they were in they were in a tournament and I didn't get a chance to see him. Uh saw him yesterday, but try to do the best I can to get out and and be able to try to see both of them play their sports and um you know be the as best and supportive as I can. And again, I'm not perfect, I get that. So that's kind of how we're kicking off this episode. The real heart of this episode though, is on limits and limiting the thought, you know, the thought process of limiting. Like, okay, well, I'm gonna go to the store and I need milk and a loaf of bread. Well, maybe the loaf of bread is yeah, so maybe on the list you have milk, loaf of bread, others, other things. And so you go and you're expecting to leave with you know whether it's uh a gallon, half a gallon, what have you, uh loaf of bread. Uh-huh. But then when you get to the store, you see the the milks, buy one, get one free, buy one, get one half off. Maybe the bread's like that, buy one, get one half off, buy one, get one free. And so you end up getting double from what your expectations were. Now, if you don't need the second one, a lot of times people justify, and I've been there um on occasions, uh, where it's like, okay, yeah, this is bioing it one free, but we really only need one. And you know, and if you're looking at something with a date on it, like an expiration date. Yep, and here's Lucy. She always knows when daddy is on on the show here. So say hello, Lucy. Okay, now now you're you're good? Okay, because daddy's on the show, so go get yourself a drink of water. Yeah. Go get yourself a drink of water. Uh yeah, so you you you come back either with that second item or you go, well, you know what, like uh we're only eating or drinking this amount, so I don't need to get two just for the sake of getting two. But sometimes we'll justify it and go, it's free. Or, you know, we uh it's the human mind does human things. And so that's a form of a limit where we're going in to the grocery store, convenience store, wherever. The market, you name it, then the name of where you go, doesn't matter. You're going to pick up some food to bring back to your home, wherever that is, whatever that looks like to you. And so you decide, well, do I buy one and get the one free, and and do I bring that second one home? Or do I bring pay, you know, buy one, get one half off? Do I pay a little extra and I can justify the total of the one plus the half divide by two, and say inside our mind? Oh, okay, yeah, that that makes sense. I we can do that. Anyways, so I'm talking about we're talking about limits, and that's just a very basic, very simple way to look at limits and limiting. And so that's where I want to take our episode from here. And I'm talking now about maybe bigger things. I I'd like to get into specifics, I just I I just can't uh but what I what I am able to share is just like that bread, just like that milk example that if we consistently just expect well we're just gonna get the one. Again, maybe there's a deal. Maybe there's not. And so on the other side of things, with you know, let's say bigger, you know, whether we're a believer God, or whether we're not, or whether we're a believer in some either higher power or not. I mean, I can think of I'm thinking like of Somebody's in sports, right? My nephew, right? Go to the ball game. He gets up the bat. He's looking to put the ball in play. That means the pitcher throws the ball. My nephew hits the ball. The defense isn't able to catch the ball right away. So my nephew gets to run around maybe first and may second base. So now he's on second base. And when he went up to they call it the home plate, where you go up and hit. And I'm talking majority of those that you know don't might not have American baseball like in their um in their country. So I'm not trying to talk anybody down whatsoever. I'm just trying to be inclusive. So my nephew, you know, goes up to the plate expecting, let me uh I want to get a hit. I want I want to hit the ball hard, and hopefully it finds a way where the defense isn't able to catch the ball uh before it bounces. And so then the the time frame they call they call them innings. So there's usually seven innings or nine innings or six innings or five innings. So he's gonna thinking, like, I just want to I want to get a hit again and have have have the ball go through and uh without the defense catching it before it bounces in play. And so that that would be more of a I'm thinking in my head, here's what I want to do, and maybe sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. There could also be times where I know there's at least one time before my dad passed that my my mom and my dad were able to go to a pretty big tournament, and uh my nephew hit a home run, which means hits it over the fence, and he's able to go run around all first, second, third, and then he when he taps home plate where he go where he was just batting, then that you get a run, which is like getting a point. And and so he he he he got a home run before, and so he could go up the bat saying I want to get a home run, and then maybe fall short, or I'm gonna put the ball in play. I just want to move, I want to keep keep the inning going, keep uh without uh without me getting out, so then the next person behind me can hit come to the plate and then have a chance to hit the ball. And so that would be a way of kind of limiting the thinking, and so I'm gonna bring that into the something, you know, as you know, as we as we continue to to get older, right? So so we could we continue to get older, and my background, I mean, you know, once the sports thing kind of ran its course, I didn't know what I wanted to do, and so I've been like thinking about what what I would like to do, and I had a heck of a time landing on that, on what I wanted to do, and and so I had these accomplishments, a lot of these accomplishments in sports, and I just expected them to continue into high school and beyond, and they didn't, and it kind of bought me out, and I think you know there, I think there's other other points where you know my self-esteem and then the mental health, you know, I've documented them so well, it kind of comes into play where you know, growing up, I'm on all-star teams, I'm on the best teams, travel teams, and then come time for high school, I'm like, all right, well, I should be on JV or varsity. Like, why would if I wasn't that good, I wouldn't have been on all these teams leading up to high school, and so that was a real a real check that I had to had to deal with. And I didn't I I I don't think I I did deal with it very well. Uh switched schools, and I hadn't gone through it through the you know the the the the baseball system, the sporting system, you know, growing up through that school, so the coaches and that weren't as familiar with me. Anyways, I was upset. I was very upset, and I I had high high hopes, and they didn't get met. Okay, so fast forward, you know, I we've talked talked about my my past extensively and then I graduate, undergrad, get a job, I'm in a relationship, um go for my masters, that relationship as I'm binge drinking, I'm not not the best person that I can be not just of myself, but just but others as well. And so at that point, I had kind of checked all the boxes, right? I I made it through the you know, the spore drop-off or whatever it happens to almost everybody that plays a sport, very few make it. And in high school sports, even less in the c college, even less in the pros, and even less, you know, make it big. Which is what whatever, making a lot of money and being a superstar. But you know, but that's what we're dreaming, you know, as we're we're growing up. At least I always I think a lot of us were if if sports was maybe maybe it's something else. Maybe we plan to be an actor, an actress, and having all these auditions, and then when it comes time, we don't, and we're like, oh my gosh, how am I gonna pay the bills? And so that drop off comes, and I'm kind of like, all right, what's left for me? What's left for me to do in life? You know, the sports thing is done. I'm trying to make a living, trying to do what I thought people do or supposed to do, is go out and get drunk on weekends, and that was such a judge that such a detriment to me. So when I talk about limits, I had in my mind at that point, I had hit the limit of what I thought I could do as a human. And so then I I started going, well maybe I could teach after I got my masters. You know, part-time. And so that worked for, you know, ten plus years. Um I'm still on the you know, the active list for the dean needs my services. And and and so I I kind of just go, okay, well, I gotta just I gotta do something just to get by. And then when bad things happen, or negative things, or things uh whether we had control of or we don't. And then we start questioning again, kind of in that middle life. I don't know if the middle of life now is moved to the 50s or if it's in the 40s. I feel like I'm in that midlife, whatever it's called. And so I feel like I'm I have the bar so low for whatever reason. And so when I pray, when I ask for favor, I ask for kind of the not the bare minimum, but I I I I don't sometimes feel worthy of asking for, you know, the upper limit or close to the upper limit. In this show, what I want the ending us to finish off on is ask for the limit. Ask for more. It doesn't have to be money. It can it can be any number of things. See, the more we l we limit our thinking, the more our thinking is limited. Right? So we're asking for the bare minimum, which should be closer to the bottom, that actually ends up being our ceiling. Like, I'm asking for two of whatever, I don't know. I'm asking for two, and that's kind of at the bottom. I could ask for ten, I could ask for nine, but I'm asking for two. So, although two might really be the floor as in like the bottom. If I'm asking for two, instead of going, you know what, I'm gonna ask for eight or nine or ten, and then anywhere between two and ten or nine, you know, we could end up up here. But we ask for two, two becomes our ceiling, and then we're looking at zero to two, and I know that's probably confusing a little bit to some people, but I think it it's pretty straightforward. And if we're gonna if we ask for something, if we ask for a little, that becomes the max, and that's gonna be going through our minds, uh whether it is active in our mind or whether it's subconscious in our mind. And one of the things I've been guilty of is just that not feeling worthy, can't be me. I've hid all my whatever, I've checked all the all the boxes that I've been given by God, I've checked. And so I'm I'm just going through life. Go going in my mind. All right, what's what's next? I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. All along the way, not all along the way. I don't like to think in all or nothing type, but a good period of time, I've been asking for the minimum in my prayers and oh yeah, it's that's that's Lucy chewing. So if you hear anybody chewing and crunching in the background or a jingle bell, that that's Lucy. She's been she's she's working her way around the house. So um, and if you hear a sall, there's a new deck being put on the house behind us. So we got everything. We got everything, so it's all good. I want to impart on you and every single person, no matter who you are, where you're from, where you're watching, where you're listening, after you've given us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, and reached out to 25 contacts in your phone. Let them know about the Voices for Voices TV show podcast. I want you to think about what have you been whether it's praying or just hoping for, or what is it? What number is it, or what qualitative measure is it? Could be a number, could be a non-number. Right, we learn about limits. There's lower limits, there's higher limits. Also referred to as a range, a range of let's say two as the lower end of the range, ten being the higher end of the range. So that's our range two to ten. Our lower limit, two, upper limit, ten. And so I just want each and every one of us, me included, to just reflect on what we're again, you don't have to be a believer. What what what are you looking to get out of life? What do you what do you want? And think about that and go, can I ask for more? Yeah, it's okay. Yeah. It's okay. Yeah, we're just about finished. Thank you. Yeah, and you're right, there is a storm coming. So you have those instincts in your mind that I don't have. So give me like two minutes, Lucy. Can you give me two minutes? Yes? No. Okay, I don't know if I've been given two minutes or not. We're good. Uh uh. She may have to go to the potty. So hey. Uh it's all good. So just think about think about that. It's a it's as simple as that. Think about what you've been telling yourself or putting out as a as a goal. Uh whether you're writing it down or whether it's just an ingrained in your mind. And look at that and go, is is that really is that all that I I can do? I know I might need extra resources, I might need a miracle, I might need a lot of things. We all do, we all need help. When I talk about us, voices for voices helping reaching and helping at least three three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. I can't do that by myself. Voices for voices can't do it on our own. We need a lot of help, and we're getting a lot of help. And thank you so much for all the help that you have given. Uh you have given, are given, and will continue to give. And the more people that are being made aware of voices for voices, I I'm getting I'm getting chills because there's a lot that I can't I can't share. Uh, but you will be made aware of it. You'll be made aware of them and in in due time. And that's why this episode is so important. So important. And why we shouldn't set our limits or our goals low, even when it may seem like all is lost, everybody else is doing better than us. I've hit a rough patch for a year, two years, five years, maybe ten years. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people from the United States, people from across the world, I am living proof what you will see and hear at some point when we're able to due to legalities. You'll see in here, and I'll refer back to this episode probably. Because we'll have a we'll have a lot of episodes more by the time I'm able to share. And if I don't refer back to this specific episode, please forgive me. But what you're gonna hear, what you're gonna see, is gonna be something that I'm hit, I'm right there with you. I never saw coming. Never saw it coming. I had a goal, and I have it chills. I've been limiting myself, I've been limiting our organization, I've been limiting limiting my prayers, my thoughts for far too long. That's why we have this huge goal of helping and reaching at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. Because at least with that goal, that's a big ass goal. And it's a bold goal. And it's a goal that catches your attention and goes, wait, what? And talking about helping three people? No, he said Justin said that they got a big goal that they want to help reach and you know at least three billion people over the course of his lifetime and beyond. So that part I wasn't wrong about. I don't even want to say wrong, but that's the stuff that I'm talking about. So what is that for you? What is it for your organization? Think bigger. You know, I an organization I used to work for, and I I I try and refer to them. But one thing I did learn from from that organization was from their owner. It said act big but be small, something along those lines. Meaning have bold goals, but then at the end of the day, be able it's like the retractable leash that I that that we have with with Lucy. It goes out a certain amount, then it comes in. Goes out in. And so what he was saying is think big, but act small. So give things a try. You don't know until you try it. I don't know until I try it. There's things that people go, Justin, like you're a little bit off your rocket or thinking about this or doing this or saying this, or okay. Maybe I am, or maybe I'm not, and I'm here to say God's my witness, and if God wants me to be here at those given times or these given times, it may happen that are lined up that I want to be a role model, not that I'm living a perfect life, not that way, but when it comes to talking about limits, of talking about should I have my goal and limit at two, or should I have it closer to ten? Maybe seven, maybe seven, maybe six, maybe five, still bigger than two. Because when we set our goal, that becomes that lower number for our goals. So when I say I want I want to help and we want to help and reach at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond, that is the lower limit. I don't the upper limit, maybe five billion, maybe four billion. But because I've set that goal so high and incredulous that that three billion is the floor, is the lower limit. Maybe it's three billion, two million and fifty-six. But if I would have said, well, we're gonna I we're gonna help three people, and I know there's times where I do say I just want to help one person and two and three, and there are times we do say that because that's how we get to that bigger number, and that's why I continue to put in the work, and I speak that's why I've learned so much. I was so lucky to be able to have Tyrus on our show. I was able to present him with an award. I was able to meet him backstage at his show, his comedy show came to the area. I got to shake his hand, basically to say, hey, thanks. Because forget about the politics, left side, right side, middle s middle. Who cares? The man has set his sights high, and he's doing big things, and I know all those things aren't because he came on our show. I know that. But I also have to think, and maybe had something, a little something to do with it. Not a lot, maybe just a little bit. And I look at other guests, maybe not all their success, future success, future, maybe just maybe just a teeny tiny bit. So let's take our limit of two and let's jack it up to nine or ten. And out of that, be our new lower limit. So now we're starting to look at numbers like fifteen and twenty. Okay. This is all this this helps me as much as this is intended to help you. This helps get more ingrained in my head. And again, as God is my witness, whether you're a believer or not, whoever you whoever you talk to when the time gets tough in your mind, that's who you start sharing and say, I know I've been talking about two. We're gonna reach two, but I'm just about there. Maybe I'm already at two, so I have nowhere else to go. There's a movie my daughter used to watch called Mary Poppins. There's nowhere to go but up. Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV Show and podcast. Again, thank you so much uh for joining us for all the love and support you've given us over the years. Uh, if you can reach out to you know 25, 50, 100, 1000 contacts on your phone, let them know about the voices for voices TV show and podcast. Uh give the big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share. Those are all free things to do. Free F-R-E-E. Free F-R-E-E, free, f R E E. Third Times of Charm. But if you're able to and you want to, head on over to lovevoices.org, lovevoices.org, lovevoices.org, or to the Cash App Voices for Voices, or to Venmo, Voices for Voices. Thank you so much. We will see you on a future episode of the Voices for Voices TV Sean podcast. It's been Justin Down Hayes. Absolute pleasure to come into your lives. And if you can, if you can Etsy on it, if you can Pinterest, you can voices for voices on it. So wherever you download your podcast from, boom, download the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast, and you let everybody all over the world know. Because we got a lot of people to help and a lot of people to reach. And thank you for everything you have done, are doing, and are continue to do. We'll see you next time. Take care.