Voices for Voices®

Reclaiming Life While Battling Depression with Author Natalie Anne Brooks | Episode 419

• Founder of Voices for Voices®, Justin Alan Hayes • Season 5 • Episode 419

Share episode

Reclaiming Life From Depression with Author Natalie Anne Brooks | Episode 419

What if healing from depression isn’t about finding one magic fix, but building a small, sturdy toolbox you can actually use on hard days? We sit down with author Natalie Anne Brooks to unpack how she transformed years of pain into a clear, compassionate roadmap that’s easy to read when your energy is low and your thoughts feel heavy. No jargon. No hollow pep talks. Just practical steps that meet you where you are.

Natalie shares how she started writing as a teenager in the thick of depression, then layered research, trial-and-error, and lived experience into a guide you can trust. We explore why understanding the causes and types of depression changes everything, how cognitive distortions quietly drive hopelessness, and how simple CBT reframes can give your nervous system a new script. She makes a strong case for grief work—mourning the old self and old expectations—so you can make room for meaning, purpose, and a “new normal” that fits who you are now.

Find the book here: https://www.cedarfort.com/products/reclaim-your-life-while-battling-depression?_pos=1&_sid=7a6829c5b&_ss=r&sca_ref=8412318.E5FUH2rYLTX7xg

Amazon: https://a.co/d/iT8VRcI

Deseret Book (in-store or online): https://www.deseretbook.com/product/6088308.html

Website: nataliebrooks.my.canva.site/

Instagram: @author_natalie.brooks

TikTok: @authornataliebrooks

Facebook: Natalie Anne Brooks

YouTube: @authornataliebrooks

We also dig into the unglamorous foundations that move the needle: consistent journaling as a planning tool, boundaries that protect unmet needs, and rest as legitimate medicine. Natalie walks through patterns like rumination, distraction, and dissociation, then offers alternatives that validate emotion without letting it run the day. We talk support systems that lift rather than spiral, and the power of an anchor—faith, family, creativity, a future goal—when motivation is threadbare. Episodes might still come, but with practice they get shorter and less intense, and self-compassion becomes your default.

If you or someone you love is navigating depression, this conversation offers tools you can use tonight and a framework you can grow into for the long term. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a steady voice, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your story isn’t over—and you don’t have to carry it alone.


Chapter Markers

0:00 Welcome & Global Audience

2:35 Introducing Natalie And Her Book

5:05 Why Write It And Who Knew

8:20 Blending Story With Science

12:35 From Rock Bottom To Hope

17:10 Timelines, Ultimatums, And Turning Points

20:45 Stigma, Strength, And Support Systems

24:05 Many Tools, Not One Fix

28:15 Journaling And The Toolbox Approach

32:25 Understanding Depression Before Change

35:10 Cognitive Distortions And CBT Skills

40:00 Choosing Change And Grieving The Old Self

45:15 Needs, Boundaries, And Emotional Regulation

50:00 Patterns: Rumination, Distraction, Dissociation

53:50 Sleep, Exhaustion, And Trauma Links

57:20 Dangerous Coping And Safety

1:01:10 Relationships, Openness, And Healthy Support


#ReclaimingLife #BattlingDepression #MentalHealthAwareness #NatalieAnneBrooks #AuthorInsights #EmotionalWellness #PersonalGrowthJourney #OvercomingChallenges #MentalHealthMatters #InspirationAndRecovery #j

Support the show

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Hey everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the show. We're grateful to have you with us, whether you're watching or listening, whether you're here in the United States or uh somewhere abroad, we are reaching over a hundred countries, thousand plus cities. Uh, we have big goals to uh reach 3,000 cities and 300 countries, all to kind of turn into reaching and helping 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. Uh again, uh I'm Justin Alan Hayes. For those just tuning in the very first time, we're glad that you're you're with us. And we do, we have uh a lot of episodes in our catalog. Uh, so feel free after you watch and listen and uh purchase uh Natalie's book uh to go ahead and uh look look at some uh other episodes. And if you don't mind hitting the subscribe button, you know, the thumbs up, like, follow, share, all that great stuff would be helpful. So our guests are very excited uh to have with us uh on this episode. Uh she is a a mom, she is an author, she is a survivor uh of depression like myself, uh, where we are taking it day by day. And she uh was very brave and courageous and inspiring by putting all that together in a book that is titled Reclaim Your Life While Battling Depression. And I'm just gonna pull it up real quick before we get kind of into into things here. Uh this is where, as far as how it would look on you know Amazon where you can purchase. So here's the here's the cover. Uh reclaim your life while battling depression. Uh, then there's a couple, a couple other views. And I just want to hone in on this very, very short uh paragraph here. The in the quote, uh, the battle with depression can be painful, lonely, and confusing. Reclaim your life while battling depression provides the insight needed to better understand how to break free from its grasp and begin a healing journey. End quote. Uh, and I I couldn't agree more, uh, but I am going to stop doing most of the talking and welcome Natalie Ann Brooks to the show. Thank you so much for joining us.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, thank you. I'm so happy to be here. And it is pretty crazy to be able to have or to be able to say now that I'm a published author and have a book that I can hold in my hands. Hello. Because I was able to turn a really difficult experience into something that will hopefully help lots of people because I know I know how painful and how difficult it can be to live with depression. And I have seen so many other people really struggle. And so I just really wanted to help help someone, to help someone not go through that same pain and be able to learn from the things that I learned. And so I just dove into research and I had a big interest in psychology. And I got my bachelor's degree in marriage and family studies, and there was a lot of psychology along with that, and I just put everything that I could into a book to try to help as many people as I can.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Oh, that's awesome. Uh, you know, helping people is really one of the most noble things that anybody can really do because a lot of the time, or not say a lot of the time, some of the time it can be kind of like a selfless uh gig for a while. You know, we're we're we're helping people, some of that we know that we're helping, some we don't know who we're helping. And just by uh having a resource that is available worldwide is just amazing in itself. Uh I'm gonna I'm gonna ask a question from because your your book is much much uh much bigger than the little pamphlet that I wrote on my mental health story. Um how did the thought process go of wanting to write a book? I and I guess what I'm asking is uh like did your whole family know? Like, did like you know, your your people that surround you in your orbit, did they know before you put the book together? Or was it something that was brand new? Because for me, a lot of it was brand new for a lot of my family. Um, so it was one of those, even though as small as of those 85 pages or so, uh and as you know, you get into intimate details and it's like, oh my gosh, like literally the the world's gonna know you know, certain certain things. Um, so I'm I'm just curious on on that uh aspect.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, it was honestly, it is a little intimidating that even though this isn't about me, the the book, it's not for me, it's for other people, but I do share, like I can empathize. So I do share things from my life, but to help other people learn from it. Um, and it does feel a little intimidating to know that by putting this book out there, that means that people know things about me way more than I will know about them. Um, and to be honest, originally I did not want to write a book, actually. It felt more like a calling, like something that I needed to do. I needed to turn this experience into something good. And so I didn't actually want to at first. And it just felt like something that was really important for me to do. And uh yeah, a lot of people didn't know uh about it until after the fact, but that's okay.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Yeah. Uh do you have any like teaching in your background? Uh is uh is that something uh I'm just trying to imagine going through you know the the writing process and uh how you go about explaining the topics and how you go through that. There's uh probably you know some uh you know, you're trying to educate people. Uh it's not you know talking down per se, but you're trying to educate people. Um, is yeah, did you feel anything like that? Like, okay, I need to really lower like the understanding because there's gonna be a maybe a wide variety of people that are gonna be reading, you know, different age groups and such.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, I I honestly feel like my book is unique in that it combines different things because when I was looking for resources myself before I wrote this book, I would find either books that were all just completely personal experience, which there's nothing wrong with that, but that's not what I was looking for. It wasn't giving me answers of how to actually manage the symptoms in my own life. Um, and then I'd also find books that were from people with a ton of like medical and psychological background, but then it was too much to digest because there were lots of words that I didn't understand. It was very science heavy. And so I wanted something that was gonna be in between that would be reason easy for anyone to read. Because another thing too is that when you're really depressed, the last thing that you want to do is put in a ton of mental energy into reading a book. And I got that. I I understand that. And so I wanted to make it something that would be really relatable. People would be able to feel like I was I can validate their emotions, their experience, what they're going through, and empathize with them, but also not stay down there at that level, you know, like empathize, but then okay, you can do something about it. It's not your fault that you have depression, it's not your fault that you're here, but it is up to you to do something about it and to get out of it. And here is what you can do. Here's what you can do to improve your situation and where you're at and to start to feel better and actually heal and manage the symptoms that you're experiencing, but in a really easy conversational way. But I also did tons of research, and so I do think it's really important to understand where things are coming from and why things may be happening, what can contribute to it. And so there is a lot of education in there as well, but it's very understandable, I feel like it's um it's really good information and that it's important to know, but it's not gonna be so complicated that you're like, okay, never mind. I don't want to read this anymore, it's too hard to understand, you know. So, and another unique thing about this is that I actually started writing it as a teenager when I was in the thick of my depression. And so this book kind of came along with me on my healing journey because when I started the book, I was I was in the depths of depression, so hopeless and so much pain and that crazy combination of being so numb, empty, and hollow, yet somehow feeling so much emotional and physical pain at the same time. And so that's where I started when I started researching for this book, and then I was able to do a lot of research and writing. And over the journey of writing this book, I was excuse me, I was figuring out things that work for me, things that didn't work for me, a lot of trial and error. So by the time that I got to finishing this book, I felt like I had done so much healing. I had grown so much by the time I finished this. And then I went back and I looked at everything again, and you know, through the whole editing process, I was adding more insights from things that I had learned throughout the whole journey and really just looking back and thinking, wow, yeah, okay, these things worked. Like I started at rock bottom, and this is where I'm at now. This is amazing. And so then I added, I added some reassurance of like, hey, I I started where you are now. I get it. It is dark, it hurts, it's so hard. And it's something that you really can't understand unless you experience it yourself. But hey, I have made it through the to the other side. So now I can actually tell you that it does get better and that it is worth it to keep going and to try and just keep trying more things. If something doesn't work, try something else. But you really have to decide that you want to give hope a chance, that you want things to be better, even if there's just a tiny possibility that things can be better. You got to cling on to that. If hope is too big, you just cling on to the idea, the tiny possibility.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Oh yeah, that that's so true. I remember my lowest in 2017. That that was the whole deal. Is like, okay, well, I can give up and just give up on life, and or I I can cling on and uh understand that I'm not the smartest person in the room, that Google can't tell me what's going on with me, and three ER visits and two weeks, uh and a myriad of regular doctor's appointments, and I didn't want to believe it was in my head, basically. Uh, and and so that was it was huge. And I was like, all right, uh I I need a team, I need I need somebody to help, and and just for me, like swallowing my pride and my ego was hard enough uh to to to start at. Uh, but yeah, exactly what you're saying. To uh just you know, life is is worth living, and and what what you're doing and what others are are doing, that might not be what a person reading it uh or watching or listening is exactly like they might not be an author, they might that might not be their uh kind of how they want to share their their story, but just the mere fact of having some inspiration of a real person that went through it and is given real information because you know there are there's a ton of how-to books, and well, if you just do this, go for a walk and and and do these things, and you know, magically, not magically, but things are gonna get get better, and uh and and I I totally wanted to own all the the whole process, and so for me giving up kind of ownership of I guess my life psychologically was a huge thing, and and so I echo what what you're you're saying, uh Natalie, that just having a little bit to cling on to, and it might not seem like much at all, might not seem how we're gonna get to the next day, the week, next week, next month, uh, but uh there is hope on on the the other side. So over the course of uh how many years did you know when from when you like started and and the book kind of grew as you uh grew grew up, uh about how many years just uh like ballpark?

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, well, I think I started it in about 2019 and then it was finished on April 18th, 2023. I remember because it was right as I was going into labor with my son. That's the only reason I remember the exact timing. Yes. Um so yeah, it was it was a few years and it was a long process. And I mean, I was finishing high school and then I was in college while I was writing it. And so it it was a process. Um, but I just I also wanted to add that similarly, I did get to that point too where I thought I kind of gave myself an ultimatum and said, okay, either I'm giving up, like literally giving up on life, or I'm going to really, really turn things around. Like I have to, there's no, there's no other choice. Either I'm gone or things have to get better. And so I was like, okay, this is my one last final shot. I'm gonna give it all I've got, even though I felt like okay, I had nothing left. And I just I did, I gave it all I had, and I did start. It took a while, but you know, I I started to see healing. And I think too that um, like you said, not everyone's gonna become an author from their depression or something, but so many people suffer in silence, and I think that there are way more people that are struggling than we realize. And I think it's so important to make connections and to be honest, not you know, go divulge everything to everyone, but you know, make those connections so that people know that they're not alone. So many people think that they are alone in their challenges and they just suffer in silence. And I think we really need to be able to support the other people around us.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Absolutely. Yeah, it's kind of gone from the like we always need help, um but we we kind of go from that to being yeah, uh helper or teacher or an inspirer, uh an author, uh going on you know media tours to share and let people know that because uh if if you don't do that, it it might be missing uh you know some key demographics and key areas, key people that could really could really use it and and could be, they could be at that that point where you know they have a plan drawn up and it's like I I don't I don't know what else to do. Uh I mean I even for me coming from a demographic that somebody would say, Oh, you have no problems and uh and even having insurance, uh and I had a five-day inpatient stay, and even with insurance, it was a lot of money. And as I try to share just the people because they're like, oh yeah, you know, the you know, they like I'm sure he has you know all kinds of you know first world problems that you know he's gone through. And uh and I even with all that that I felt pressure with that of like I'm a guy, I'm supposed to get through this. I'm don't I'm not supposed to cry, I'm not supposed to have emotions, I'm I'm supposed to just you know get through it on my own. And uh it was uh it was so hard because it was I mean, I was living a lot of my lifestyle, which was a lot of partying and and all that, and I was like, all right, Justin, uh if if you have to take medication, or you know, you might not be able to, I mean, you can consume alcohol, uh, but you're not gonna be able to do it. Obviously, how how you have been doing that, and it was, it was that just that moment of like, I'm either all out or I'm all in. And if I'm all in, I I I can't just I can't go back on that and say, Oh, sorry, like uh, you know, one. I'll that that I can do that and I can uh come back from that. And I think that uh I think people are stronger than they give themselves credit for, and I'm sure you can attest to that from your experience and and the research that you you did and you you've done. Uh that people really are they're they're they're stronger than what they they think. And uh it's just getting to that place of believing that.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, because that's I mean, one of the big things that depression attacks is hope. You like you feel hopeless and you feel helpless, like you're not capable of getting through it. You're just so exhausted from the whole experience because it affects so much and it really drags you down. And it's it's interesting too because it it does affect everyone differently. Everyone's experience with depression is different, it does vary, and the things that are gonna help people will vary as well. So, you know, the things that might work for you and might have helped you are different than the things that have helped me and worked for me. The only consistent thing that I've noticed is that it's not one magic fix. There are a lot of things. You have to have several tools in your toolbox that you go to when you're struggling to help you get through a depressive state. And you, it's just though that buildup of the little things. And again, it's different for everyone. Um, but again, also, like you said, there are a lot of unfortunately unhealthy messages that we internalize that make it so much harder on ourselves. A lot of negative self-talk, a lot of rumination, and the lack or the inability to emotionally regulate and be able to address and work through our emotions in a healthy way and not get stuck in that deep pit of just, oh, I'm not supposed to feel these feelings, but I feel these feelings and it's just horrible and ah so yeah, I there's a lot of that that I go over in my book because I there are so many skills that I feel like we should all have. It would be great for us to all have, but we don't. It's something that we need to purposefully learn, and that's an important part of growth and healing too.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Yeah, and kind of preparation uh for our conversation. I uh is also struck by how you mention trial and error, and I even just like right now, I'm looking for words to say, but like I can't say you can kind of spit them out sometimes. Um trial and error is something that I've been thinking about. I just haven't been able to kind of I couldn't think of the the words, but it's so true that what works for one person may or may not work for another, but it's just trial and error. Like it's more of you just have the tools in your tool belt, and and then you you try it in one situation and maybe it works, or maybe it doesn't, and then maybe you try it in a different situation, and then it has an opposite effect. Can you just talk a little bit about that trial and error? I know we touched a little bit on that, um, but just how important that that is to continue on and not be like, Oh, I tried everything.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, I I remember getting to that point where I felt like I had tried everything and nothing was working. And it's also really hard when you're in that state to think of things that you can do. You're just you just throw your hands up. I've tried it all, there's nothing more I can do. But really, there are there are lots of things. And so that's why I actually give a ton of ideas in my book. I um specify things that worked well for me, the things that I really like. And I also include a ton of things that didn't work for me, but maybe super helpful for other people. And I think it's really important, really useful to have all those resources. And so, yeah, just giving them a try because that's that's what I did. If I was trying to stop self-harming, or if I was trying to stop ruminating or get out of a depressive state or whatever I was doing, I'd kind of go down this mental list of, okay, I did this, that didn't work. I did this, that didn't work. And I keep trying little, they're really little things, though. It's not like a huge assignment or you know, it's just little things. Um, but they do build up. So even if one thing doesn't work on its own, they kind of build up on each other. Um, and then after you do a few things, maybe you'll notice a difference. And so there are a ton of those. Um, but like for me, my my biggest thing through high school was journaling. And just, I mean, by the time I finished high school, I'd finished 42 journals. I wrote so much. So before I was an author, I was always a writer. I just I wrote all the time. That's how I got through a lot. That's how I came up with my plans to uh improve my life. And that was a big thing that I did. And I I also just like write out a whole list, uh toolbox um of resources of things that you can try, and uh just a lot of encouragement that goes along with it. Um because and and that I feel like there's also there's certain steps to take. It's a process. I think first you need to understand the causes and types of depression, where it where it comes from, what it is, because if you don't even know what it is that you're experiencing and what you're going through, you're just gonna go in circles trying to overcome it because you don't understand it first. And um understanding symptoms and treatment options too. And that's that's an important start. And then after that, I I go into all the steps after that and uh creating a new normal and the negative patterns and emotional responses and all sorts of things.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Yeah, and I and I also saw another area talking about validation. Uh I know growing up that was something that I I mean, I think I even still struggled to it, uh insecurity at times, even today, regular regular days and in my 40s, um and feeling like I had a I mean I have it still have a sister, she's still older, but growing up, yeah, she was like, you know, the straight A's and and everything. And uh she had never said like, oh, I'm so much better than you, and my family never said that to me, that oh, your sister's so much better, and and and so when I would have like a good test score, which wasn't very often, uh, I would like come home and be like, want to show like you know, my family, and and say, look what I did, and and it's almost even some of that nowadays where it's like look look what we look what we did, look what I did, and uh and I it's it's it's just amazing to to to think how something that I literally basically created in my head because nobody told me. Um I just kind of felt that way. I'm like, okay, well, here you know, four job offers out of college, and here I am, you know, barely getting through. And um and and can you can you just talk about how how your book, like you mentioned at at the outset, how it really is for for everyone, that it is uh you don't have to be some uh you know PhD scholar to pick it up, to order it, to to read through it, that you will find actionable resources and tips and and real world tried and tested uh situations and events that you went through. Some you went through and some that you research. I'm sorry.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, no worries. I can go through a little bit to be more specific about what I actually walk the readers through. Um, but what you just said reminded me of something that I do talk about in here, which is really common cognitive distortions, like you were just mentioning, you know, are our ways of thinking that we get stuck in. So the cognitive distortions and common self-defeating beliefs, the negative self-talk that we get stuck in. And I explain all of it in here in a way that's really easy to understand. And there's also um and some exercises that you can do to kind of work on that and to improve it. And I don't know if you're familiar with cognitive behavioral therapy. Um basically just taking just taking one of those ideas, like I'm I'm vulnerable or flawed, and people will not love and accept me. You take that idea and then you change it, you correct it and make a true statement out of it, and you just you work that around in your head instead. And over time you change these beliefs, and it also changes your nervous system and the way that you respond to your surroundings, which is pretty amazing. And it's it's crazy and fascinating how impressive and confusing the mind is, and so much goes back to childhood and things that you may think are just little stressors, but can actually traumatize the brain and our connections, and it can damage the way that our our brain processes and the connections that we make. And unfortunately, the brain looks for things to confirm messages that it has created. So, like for example, your um your story with your sister, I don't exactly know how to put that into words, but your brain had this one experience, maybe. And then over time, it was looking for more experiences to reinforce that belief, even though it was a negative belief. And so then over time it became stronger. And so we have to kind of go backwards and undo or retrace our steps and correct that belief to something true and positive. And so um, I I'll just kind of walk you through what I address in this book because I feel like there's so much, there's so much information out there, it's overwhelming the number of things that you can do or what people talk about. And it's it's too much. So I just I broke it down into what I felt like was the most important. And so to start, you need to ignite your desire to improve. You have to decide you don't want to live like this anymore, which actually can be harder than you'd think. For me, it was tough because I was so used to being depressed that the idea of not feeling depressed almost scared me, even though I wanted that so bad. I didn't want to be depressed anymore. I wanted to be happy, but it was almost my comfort zone now to be depressed. I didn't know what it was like to not be in pain. And so it was hard for me to accept that I could get myself out of that because I felt stuck in what I was used to. So first you have to decide that you're willing to get out of that, whether you think it's a comfort zone, whether it's it feels hard to leave that pain behind. Maybe you identify yourself with that pain and you think, well, you don't know who you are now without that. If you give that up, then who are you? I definitely got stuck in that for a while. And I had to recreate who I was as a person because I define myself by my depression. So anyway, that there's a lot more that we can go into with that that's in the book as well. But first is igniting your desire to improve. Second is having a change of heart and giving hope a fighting chance. And so that's kind of what we talked about before is that even it's really hard to have hope when you're really depressed. It's so difficult. But you can at least give it a chance. Even if you don't really have hope, if you've felt like you've already given up, if you can doubt yourself just a tiny bit, like, okay, what if I'm wrong? What if there is a chance that things could be better? What if I actually could have a really amazing future, even if there's just the slightest possibility of that happening, I can't give up on it. So kind of that idea. And then um, I talk a bit about resilience and how I used to hear people say that resilience was almost the opposite of depression, and that bugged me because I thought, well, no, but but people with depression are probably the most resilient people I know. And it seemed like it was um at odds almost, but you can have depression and you can be really resilient. And then I talk about some just background information that's important to have, like the causes and types of depression, and then symptoms and treatment options, which are different for everybody. And then I go into um how having depression and healing from depression is actually a lot like grief. And that was something that I I hadn't always realized or thought about before, but you go through kind of the same stages of grief when you have depression because you have lost your old self, you have lost your old life in a way, and you have to grieve that, you have to grieve the person that you used to know and the life that you wish you had in order to regain a sense of self to move forward. So I talk about that, and then also finding new meaning and purpose in order to let go of that pain. Because as I mentioned before, it's kind of hard to get out of that comfort zone, let go of the pain that you've been with so for so long, it's almost like a companion. So you have to fill it with something else, you have to fill it with new meaning that you found, a new purpose. So for me, part of that was writing this book. That was something that had meaning and purpose for me. Another thing is um learning a lot about uh this is a little bit more about psychology, schemas and unmet emotional needs. And this can go back to childhood, but basically all the needs that you've had as a child and throughout your life that went unmet, and how that reinforced your symptoms of depression and made life harder, and what you can do to actually make sure that your emotional needs are met, how to communicate that with people, how to set boundaries for yourself and learn about what you need and what's been missing. So that's an important step that I feel like I was missing before, and I think a lot of people are missing too. Then kind of connected to that is identifying and regulating your emotions. And right when I say regulating, I do not mean getting rid of or pushing aside or anything. It means being honest about how you're feeling and addressing those feelings and really facing them head on and accepting them, but not not staying with them, if that makes sense. Like you can you can identify, wow, I am feeling this really strongly, really intensely. Like this is really hard. It is okay for me to be mad about it. It's okay for me to cry about it, and I'm going to express that emotion, but then I'm going to channel it into something that is not going to be a destructive behavior. And I'm going to identify where it came from. And then if I know where it came from, I can decide what to do about it. So not staying in the helpless, like, oh, just victim mentality, life is awful because someone did this thing to me or whatever it may be. You you give yourself that validation of yes, it is fair for me to feel this way. My feelings came from somewhere, they are real, they are valid, and I accept them. I accept myself for feeling them, but I don't want to keep them. I want to, I want to be able to let them go. So we we talk about that. And then also another thing that was really hard for me to come to terms with um with my depression and other challenges is my limitations. And so next I go into expectations and limitations, especially in our fast-paced world. There's so much comparison comparison. There are a lot of things going on, and it can be so easy to get into this trap of having expectations for yourself where you're comparing your worst to someone's best, or you are just really hard on yourself for the limitations that you have. And it is okay to have those limitations. You still need to, you know, not give up. You still need to push yourself to grow as a person and be outside your comfort zone. But it's okay if you need more support than other people, or if you need more breaks than other people, or you know, especially if you're going through healing from depression, you need a lot more sleep than other people, probably. Your brain needs a lot of rest to be able to work through these kinds of things. When you're putting in emotional work, you probably need more rest because the mental, emotional, and physical are way more tied together than you would think. And this is a whole nother story, but my mental health challenges have caused lots of physical pain for me and migraines and all sorts of things. It affects so much in your life. So, anyways, just keep that in mind. And then uh it's also important to learn about negative patterns and emotional responses now that we have a better background in emotion. Uh, so that includes rumination, distraction, and dissociation. And dissociating and distracting are really common things that people do just to kind of survive, just to get through the day, whether it's just being glued to your phone, you're watching something, you're just trying to think of anything but what you're experiencing. You just don't want to, you just don't want to sit with. It which is uns understandable. And then uh crying has its own chapter because it is kind of weird. I went through a phase where I cried so much all the time, and I hated it, but I just cried all the time. And then I went through another phase where I could not cry. I couldn't even make myself cry. It was like I had cried so much, all the tears were gone, I was dried up. I just couldn't cry anymore. And it's very interesting. It talks about the importance and what I guess what role it plays in depression and what effect depression can have on that way of exhibiting emotion. And then exhaustion, because oh my goodness, depression is exhausting. And some people may end up having insomnia. Some people may end up having, uh, I think it's called hypersomnia. Um, so either you are sleeping way more than the average person, or you have a really difficult time sleeping. And this can also be affected by um what we talk about at the beginning, that the different causes of depression, which um for me, one of those causes was trauma with CPTSD. And so I think that also contributed to my insomnia, the combination, just a wonderful mix. Um, and then these are the toughest chapters, but it's also important to address dangerous coping mechanisms like self-harm and suicidal ideation. And that was also just overall, this book was tough for me to write because it hits very close to home. This is my experience, but it's also so many other people's experience. And it's not an easy subject. It's kind of emotional, it's kind of tough, but I I tried to write it in a way that would be the the easiest to read as possible, considering the subject. So um, then navigating relationships, depression has a big big impact on your relationships with other people, whether that's family or peers out and about, strangers and uh romantic relationships, your relationships with kids, whatever we go into that. And um another thing is how to open up to family and friends and peers, because again, so many people just suffer on their own, and that makes it so much harder. And depression makes you want to isolate, whether it's out of shame or just you're scared that you'll you'll push people away, or you think no one can understand, no one can help me. There's so many reasons to not open up to people and to push people away. But it is so important to not be alone, to not isolate. You really, really need support system. And there are many places that you can get that if you do not have close familiar relationships or friends, and I mean, even a therapist can be the connection that you need for the time being. Or there's a whole variety of places, but you need to find good support. And one of the things that I think people tend to do is they they gravitate towards people who are also struggling deeply, but then they both kind of pull each other down because they just talk about how awful things are instead of validating each other's experiences, but encouraging each other that you we can get through this, you know, we'll be we'll be get get better. Um, whereas, like I had a friend who was also depressed, and this is an example of what you don't want. He was depressed and suicidal enough that he was like, Well, let's both just give up together. That's not that's not the kind of connection that I'm talking about. You need a good connection that's going to encourage you, motivate you, help you feel loved and like you matter and that your life is worth fighting for and living. And then, um, so personally, well, so one of the really important things with depression is to find an anchor. You need an anchor, and that can be something that is worth living for. Um, if you're at that point where you just need to cling on to something to stay for, you need to have an anchor. Or if you're just having a really tough time getting through depressive episodes, something, something to look forward to, something to, you know, just have there as your constant. And that's different from ever for everyone. For me personally, that's my spiritual beliefs. That is my my faith in in God. And so for me, that was my anchor, is I had this belief in someone who was looking out for me and was there for me, even though I didn't feel like it for a while. And that that was my personal anchor. So I do write this somewhat from a Christian standpoint, but it's also it's it's for anyone. You don't have to be Christian like I am for this book to apply and to be meaningful for you. And um, there's also lots of scholarly resources and encouraging quotes. And um, at the end, I do talk about the trial of my faith or the trial of our faith and um the the tender mercies that I that I have seen through this challenge, which again, that may not be everyone's anchor. That's totally fine. But for me, that was where I found meaning to get me through this challenge. And so even if it's not that, you need to have some sort of some sort of hired spiritual drive, something that motivates your spirit, your soul, just you know, who you are as a person is really important. And that could be the family. You care deeply about family, your friends. If you have a goal, you really want to travel, and that is your thing, and you just go into it like the world is wide open, and I want to see it, I want to be a part of it. That's a great thing. It could be all sorts of things, whatever you choose it to be. And um, one of the things that is the loss, sorry, I'm talking a lot, but one of the things that is kind of losing sight of who you are, but also the things that make you you and who you used to be, the things that you enjoy doing. So this is also a time for rediscovery of maybe you won't like the same things that you used to, but you can give some new things a try. The hobbies that I have now are not are not the same as they were before I really struggled with depression, but that's fine. I've kind of you know rediscovered myself and I'm still, you know, a version of the person I was before, but I've changed, I've learned, and I've grown a lot now. And I just I want people to know that as as awful and challenging and painful as depression is and can be, it is honestly, I can say, worth it to get to the other side to keep fighting and to not give up. And it's so hard to believe that. It's so hard to believe that when you're really in it and you're really struggling. But you can take it from someone who has been there. And I won't go into details, but it bad depression, okay. And I can say that it is worth it to get through it. And my life is far from perfect now. It's I still have healing to do, but it is so much better. I'm so far, I've learned, I've grown so much, and I'm so much further than I used to be. And I can also say that depression probably won't, I mean, and maybe it does for some people, but at least for me, it's probably never going to completely go away. But it's not something that I have to be at war with and feel like I'm fighting my mind anymore. I can accept that it's there and I almost work with it in a way where if I have a depressive state, which still happens sometimes, I am so much more gentle with myself. And I see, I see it happening and I say, okay, today is one of those days. It's I'm just kind of struggling with a depressive state today. And you know what? I'm gonna get through this day, and tomorrow we'll be better. And I just let myself have a day where I give myself the grace that I need, the extra rest that I need. And at the point that I'm at now, usually by the next day, I feel okay, like I've gotten through the depressive state because I know I've gotten through it so many times before that I can get through it again. You just have to keep telling yourself that again and again. And over time, as you practice, the depressive states will be shorter, you'll get through them faster, and they will be less intense. So the depressive states that I have now are not as life-altering as they used to be. It's still there, but it is it's kind of like getting an emotional cold almost, where you're you're taking down a notch, but you just give yourself a little time to recover and then you're back up again. And you know, you can keep going. So, and I just want people to know that they you are not alone. There are so many people who are in the same boat, and it is worth it to keep trying, to keep fighting. There is hope, even if you don't believe it, you gotta give room for that possibility. It can get better. And I just I really hope that people that people give that a chance and know that they are not alone.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Wow. So so powerful. Oh my gosh. The the fate part I I remember when I was feeling like I was getting back on my bearings, I guess, and uh I still felt something was missing. The that I'm a psychiatrist, I'm a counselor, I had medication and and and all all these, and and I still just felt like like I'm not like I'm maxed out, but like, okay, well, like I'm pretty well towards the top of a full tank, is uh analogy weird, but um uh but then there was like there's like a part of me that wasn't, and it was like what's going on, and that's what it was for me, and so yeah, we're we're in the same boat that you don't have to be Christian to read the book to learn to uh to to go through it. That's just kind of the uh the that's just kind of just like where we're coming from when what we're sharing, and so somebody else may have an another higher power, or maybe they don't. Um, but just to know that regardless uh that there are people that still care for them, even if they don't realize it or not. So the faith part, uh, when he said that, I was just like, yeah, that's so incredible. Like that I meet somebody that has that was like a a part, and it was missing for many, many, many years, and then uh and then and now I'm the same same boat. Like, I don't think I'm ever gonna completely get through depression, it's not something it's like, oh, this one's fixed, you know. Like, oh, I did have surgery on my leg or uh what um and I've just gotten better to be okay with that, and uh and then what I didn't know there's a lot I don't know, but when you were saying that uh that the mind, even in a depressive state, needs more time to heal, uh I didn't I didn't even correlate that together because I I love to sleep, I guess. I mean, you know, um, but I didn't even correlate that that might be part of the reason. The other part might just be being selfish and wanting to just uh you know get get a few extra minutes or hours. Uh if it's a weekend, it's a little more easier to have more more uh more rest with with children and stuff. Um yeah, it's uh I uh yeah. Um I'm definitely gonna copy. I don't know why I didn't get a copy yet, but uh this this is fantastic. I love how easy it was for you to kind of go through like very heavy topics. I mean these are like very heavy and and hard to uh hard to talk about and like like you said what you know they were you and then and another person were were in a uh you know depressive state and it was just like hey yeah let's let's do this like why not just give up and I've been uh close there uh mostly high school and um but it's uh oh my gosh. Uh I wish we could just continue on the conversation, uh, but we gotta kind of cap it somewhere. So can you please share how people can uh find your book where they can get it, hold it up so then people can uh remember like what the code looks like.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yep, this is it again. Reclaim your life while battling depression. And it is it is possible to have depression and to be happy, and I did not I did not write this book for myself or to be known or anything. I I wrote this genuinely just because I know how hard it is and because I want to help people, and that is that is why that's why this book exists. So I don't know if you can share links in the description or something, but you can find it on Amazon as you already shared. There's also an ebook option, or my publisher is Cedar Fort, so it can be found on the Cedarfort.com website, and that's where you can order paper book copies for that. And the um audiobook is currently in progress, that's not available yet, but it will be at some point, so um, I'm excited for that.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Yeah, and I I've gone through that process even with those uh not as in an in-depth uh as uh yours is and it it takes time, like it it it's like you try to put a schedule again there, and it's like this is all the further I've gotten, like two pages or something.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yep, well, that's why it took years, and especially with the the subject being so heavy, there was definitely a lot of crying through the writing process, and all but a lot of it was just looking back on what I had already written and thinking of all the people out there that are in that situation and thinking, oh my gosh, I I was you, I am you, I just want to show you like what you can do to get out of that and to feel better. So yeah, and I know how hard it is to read or do anything like that while depressed again. So this is something that is easy to digest and will help you feel validated because I can empathize. Um, but it's not it's not supposed to be a super, super heavy read. It addresses the heavy things, but it is it is very encouraging and focused on on what you can do to make things better. So and do you do you share like social accounts like if people want to follow you or um yes, I I'm on Instagram and TikTok and Facebook and YouTube, and they're all author Natalie Brooks. So that's where you can find me if you just look up author Natalie Brooks. Um then you should be able to find me. Yeah. And I I'm putting out content to help people that's it connected to my book, but it's I'm I'm just gonna be sharing resources and really easy clips of what you can do for this thing and what to look for with this, or different ways that depression can show up, and a bunch of just easy little things that you can follow along to learn about.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Wow, thank you so much for spending so much of your time with with us. It was just it really was. It's amazing, and as persons going through some similar things, even uh the the learnings, and uh it's it's it's incredible. I mean, the work that you put in, the time and the attention to detail, it's uh just nothing short of as amazing. So thank you for for doing that. Just for like we said, you know, just we can help one person, then that's one less person that has to go through it. But I pretty sure we're gonna help. Oh, yeah, I'm not saying you're gonna help. Uh you're you're gonna help more than more than one person. And so I wanted to have you on because people people need help from time to time, and it's okay.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, well, and writing this book was difficult, but that's what I told myself. If I can just help one person, then it will be worth it. That's that's all I am hoping for. So yeah, thank you. I'm so happy that I got to join you on the show today.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

You're welcome. We're gonna get this turned around quick, so it'll be out tomorrow. I'll get you all the links and all that great stuff that uh you can share it and however you want to uh share it. And we are again so grateful to we had Natalie Ann Brooks, uh author of Reclaim Your Life while battling depression uh with us on this episode of the show. Uh again, go go pick up a copy, check out Amazon, and then what was the before? It's Cedar Fort.

Natalie Anne Brooks:

Yeah, so there's a website, Cedarfort.com. And then if you live next to if any local Desert Bookstores, it's also in Desert Bookstores.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Okay. Yeah, definitely go pick up a copy. And uh I I would I would actually recommend picking up more than more than one because there's uh you know, as we we have families and people we care and love. Uh it uh this is a type of book that's literally like life-changing. Uh the you know, the more knowledge that we can have, the uh the better chance we have to go after the things that we want and have goals that we want and still be somewhat like the the same person. So I'm like the same, same way of that I I I loved how you said you rediscover, like you're rediscovering things that you like as a as a as a person, and I feel that that's the same for me. It's like yeah, like I'm the same person, but I'm rediscovering, and like instead of doing this, we just modified a little bit, and instead of doing this, we well, and and those things by itself are are truly priceless. So thank you for uh joining our show, Natalie, and thank you, our viewers, our listeners. If you can hit the subscribe button, follow, uh, share, give us a thumbs up, go buy a couple copies of Natalie's book, follow her on socials. That's how we got in contact uh to have her on the show. Uh so awesome to uh have her for the amount of time that we we did. Luckily, Zoom didn't kick us off. Sometimes it decides to kick us off. So we actually got some bonus time, which we're very grateful for. And then until next time, Justin Alan Hayes with Voices for Voices, and please be a voice for you or somebody in need. We'll see you next time. Talk to you later.

Head Shot

Justin Alan Hayes

Host