Voices for Voices®

Time Thieves: Protecting Your Mental Space in a Demanding World | Ep. 309

• Founder of Voices for Voices®, Justin Alan Hayes • Season 4 • Episode 309

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Time Thieves: Protecting Your Mental Space in a Demanding World | Ep. 309

Have you ever received an invitation that immediately transported you back to a time and place you'd rather not revisit? That's exactly what happened when Justin Alan Hayes, founder of Voices for VoicesⓇ, received notice of his 25-year high school reunion.

In this deeply personal episode, Justin takes us on a journey through time, contrasting life in the year 2000 with our current reality. He reflects on a world before iPhones and Facebook dominated our attention, when screen time occupied a much smaller percentage of our daily lives. But beyond the technological evolution, Justin bravely shares how receiving his reunion invitation triggered involuntary mental flashbacks to difficult high school experiences—his grandfather's passing, struggles with self-confidence, and early substance use that shaped his relationship with social situations.

The heart of this conversation centers on recognizing when your mind reaches capacity. Justin describes recent panic attacks at group events that mirrored symptoms from his 2017 mental health crash, signaling his mind needed space to reset. He introduces the powerful concept of "time stealers"—people who appear interested in your life but ultimately drain your energy without contributing positively to your wellbeing. These insights prompt us to examine our own lives, identifying what might be stealing our time and mental bandwidth, and granting ourselves permission to set necessary boundaries. When depression deepens, sometimes returning to basics—food, water, shelter, security—provides the foundation needed for healing.

Whether you're navigating social obligations, processing past experiences, or simply feeling overwhelmed, this episode offers validation and practical wisdom. Listen now, and remember that protecting your mental health isn't selfish—it's essential for showing up as your best self in the spaces and relationships that truly matter.

Chapter Markers

0:00 Welcome to Voices for VoicesⓇ

2:11 Reflecting on Year 2000

4:24 Why I Skipped My Reunion

12:57 Recent Panic Attacks

19:32 Dealing With Time Stealers

27:03 Setting Healthy Boundaries

#TimeThieves #MentalHealthMatters #ProtectYourPeace #MindfulnessInChaos #StressManagement #MentalWellness #WorkLifeBalance #ProductivityHacks #EmotionalResilience #StayFocused #InnerCalm #OvercomeDistractions #SelfCareRoutine #DigitalDetoxStrategies #HealthyBoundaries #justiceforsurvivors #justice4survivors #VoicesforVoices #VoicesforVoicesPodcast #JustinAlanHayes #JustinHayes #help3billion #TikTok #Instagram #truth #factoverfictionmatters #transparency #VoiceForChange #HealingTogether #VoicesForVoices309

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Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

Welcome to this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I'm your host. Founder of Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes. Thank you for joining us, whether this is your first episode or you've been with us from the beginning. As you may or may not know, we have over 300 episodes in our podcast catalog. We encourage you to take a look and you might find one or more episodes that may be of interest to you, and we again just encourage looking through. You'd probably be surprised with some of the topics and some of the guests that we do cover that we are a local podcast and TV show, but we do talk about issues that expand across the United States and some global issues, and we work to try to just bring those back to the human level wherever you're at, and the human level where I'm at and we're at is northeast of Ohio. So thank you for joining us. You can find our shows everywhere. So Voices for Voices it's the name of our organization, nonprofit, as well as the name of our podcast that you can see, and you can see the hands behind me, the purple hands, the logo. That will be how you can recognize our shows from others, because voices is a popular word that's out there, but Voices for Voices is specific to us and we're happy to have that under registration and trademarked in the United States Patent and Trade Office. So thank you for joining us.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

We're going to talk a little bit about the year 2000. And so the year 2000,. 25 years ago, so much change has occurred, besides my age getting higher and higher and higher to where it's at now. But we're talking about just changes in society. We didn't have, to my knowledge, we didn't have an iPhone or a Droid phone in the year 2000,. I don't know exactly when Facebook was founded, but I don't believe. Well, it's obviously not to the extent it is now with the phones and the apps and all the different features that are there. So you know, we didn't have Facebook. We were using computers a little bit, but not to the extent where it's. You know, if we look at that pie of the time that we have throughout the day when we're awake, if we look at the ratio of or not the ratio, we just look at the percentage of the time we spend on our phones or on a screen now versus the year 2000,. That much, much different. The year 2000,. You know, right, that's the, you know Y2K, so 1999, you know 1999, you know the print song party, like it's 1999. And, uh, and so we made it through Y2K, uh, the uh, you know, the world didn't collapse and computers and such and systems, uh were, were still able to operate, so we made it through that.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

Year 2000 was also the year that I graduated high school and and so we're just going to cover some of the the things that uh now and and why I, why I'm bringing this up now on this particular show, uh, so right, so I graduated high school in year. We just had our 25th high school graduation or alumni get together and I didn't attend. I saw the emails, I saw the posts on social media. Again, that wasn't there in the year 2000,. As a way of sort of a primary, one of many ways that's a primary communication, how we communicate with others, and I guess I didn't want to attend for a lot of reasons.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

Number one, and this is where, when people are talking about how past events affect them and they don't know how, when I heard about having our 25th class reunion, I immediately went back to that point in time, or those points in time where I was going through high school and one of the things that happened was my grandpa Greenhouse, my mom's dad, passed away and I found out after a baseball game in high school we had, we had an away game and then we, the bus, brought us back to the high school and you know, to be picked up or you were able to drive age-wise and all that and and and so I remember that getting off the bus and I knew my, I didn't see my parents at the ball game. I knew my grandpa was was not into doing very well, but that was how I found out that he passed away and and so that wrote. That's one thing that passed away, and and so that wrote. That's one thing that struck me and I know that, like there's, you know, babies that are born and then there's people that pass away, I understand the whole circle life thing, but it was something that I look back at when I get. I got you know these flashbacks that are coming into mind and and so that was one of them.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

The other one was how I didn't fit in, how I didn't have a group, how the people that I did associate with really were taking me down a path that wasn't healthy. That included early alcohol consumption, sometimes other substances, and so the thought of me going to a reunion to be and to see some of these individuals, that, no matter how nice an individual can be in person, we know the moment that we turn around and we go our opposite ways, that sometimes not always not everybody sometimes there's conversations that are had that aren't the nicest. You know the gossip and all that, and so I was like I'm going to have to spend time with these people. That really not destroyed, but just really had a huge impact on kind of my mental state. And we're all you know in those years. You know we're growing, you know, go through puberty and all these things, and there's a lot of changes going on.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

I remember I had, you know, acne and real bad, and so that was also taken down my confidence and so all these things, you know, kind of these growing pains they say were occurring, and so my thought was like there's no way again, no way I can go to this reunion Just because, again for one, those types of thoughts were kind of that flashback of like. Once I saw you know the term and the person that was posting an email and my mind just went there. I didn't want it to go there. I didn't say, okay, justin's mind, justin's brain, let's take a trip back memory lane to high school in the year 2000. I graduated. It just happened and I think that's the thing.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

One of the things I want to share in this episode is things just happen that sometimes individuals make conscious decisions to do something like I want to wake up at 7 am tomorrow, so I'm going to set my alarm. That's more of a conscious. We have a little bit of a lot of say on that. You know, do I take a shower in the morning, do I take a bath in the morning or the evening, or do I need to start packing for a trip? Whatever's happening for a trip, whatever? Whatever's happening.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

There's things that we can control a little bit more than others, and my mind was the uncontrollable when I heard about the reunion and that was just not a not a good place for my mind to to be. And it's easy to say like, oh well, you know, you're whatever, use whatever term you want, it doesn't bother me. But I didn't want my mind to go there and it did. And so in my mind again, I was starting to rehash and certain whether they were good milestones of actually graduating, or the negative milestones of some of the things I've mentioned both in this episode and in others. I I just couldn't see myself going and enjoying the event and I know we don't have to enjoy everything, and not everything we enjoy is 100% Like oh yeah, this was fantastic and it's always going to be like this, and then there's others that they're not. It's just a mixed bag. We just don't know.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

But I had control over whether I would go to this reunion or not and I decided not to. Another reason I decided not to is some of what we do as an organization, voices for Voices, the topics and guests we've had on, and you you know that that's ruffled a lot of feathers, uh, various, various places, and so I didn't want to be answering questions of oh, I saw this, what made you do that or how. I just I just didn't want it and they're not the paparazzi, but in a way it way I felt like I was going to get grilled because a couple of the classmates I had in high school we've had on the show as guests, and so it's not their fault and not necessarily the reasons why. You know, my mind kind of goes back into like these negatives and these situations of how I was feeling, how my body, the acne, and uh, just being, uh, being an introvert and having even today, even to this day, I can't go to just any type of an event and not know how I'm going to feel.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

So let me give you an example I've talked about on an earlier episode, but I haven't had a panic attack or even close to that in a while I don't know if it's been months or it's been a good long while and say four weeks ago, and then the next week, then three weeks ago I was on the verge of having a panic attack at a big group event and it was at the same point in the event and there were a lot of people there and you know, you say, well, yeah, you're a narcissist and you have to be the center of attention. I can't really help that. That if I am like this, where I'm able to share, I'm able to speak and talk and and interview guests that we have on sometimes we have solo episodes, sometimes we have in-person guests, sometimes we're able to utilize, you know, the, the the conferencing platform, to're able to utilize, uh, you know the, uh, the the conferencing platform to be able to bring people in virtually, uh, and so I looked at that and I and, and so I back-to-back weeks I was basically kind of almost taking myself back to memory lane of like, oh, I'm not, I'm not better, like somebody might say like, oh, justin, you're I, I watch your shows, I listen and I, I, I read about them and you know you're doing great and and you know, thank you for that, uh, it means, means a lot, uh, but whether you think we're doing great or not, uh, we just, we just want to help people. And so the fact that I was having panic attacks back-to-back weeks, uh, those type of feelings were the same feelings that I was having in 2017 and earlier, and in 2017 is when I had my mental health crash, and that was one of the things.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

It was a constant where I'd be in certain situations and I just feel like I was having a panic attack that I was going to pass out. And so I tried to remove myself from the situation, having a panic, panic attack that I was gonna, that was gonna pass out, and inside route tried to remove myself from the situation and it was awkward and people like looked at me funny and probably were talking like what's wrong with him, like why is he freaking out? So that's something that's happened here in 2025. And so I started again think about the reunion in kind of the same sense, because it was still a couple weeks before the reunion was set to take place and I'm like, well, if I'm having panic attacks here, how am I gonna? How am I gonna be when I'm with a group of people that a lot of them, even though we like to think we grow up and we grow out of phases and and and all those, all those things that like, oh well, I already know I'm going to be uncomfortable, Like I'm going in. I'd be going into a situation that was uncomfortable for me, that I would know ahead of time. It wouldn't be something where I wouldn't know if something would be good or bad or somewhere in the middle or again bring some form of trauma up from somewhere in my mind, from somewhere in my mind.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

And then the other part is with having a past of, you know, abusing alcohol. One of the ways I abused alcohol was whenever I was going to an event or a party, I always had, or I tried to always have, alcohol with me. Because, although it looks to you if you're watching. If you watch any of our shows, it looks to you like I'm an extrovert, that I'm really an introvert. And if you travel, any of our shows looks to you like I'm an extrovert, that I'm really an introvert. And if you travel with me day to day, you'd see like, oh okay, this is one of the only times where Justin talks as much as he does and shares.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

So then my thought to the reunion was like, well, I don't since 2017, I've been sober and I don't want to. I'm going to feel even more uncomfortable because I'm not going to be able to do what I used to do, and that was, you know, have some drinks and numb, numb the mind a little bit, little bit, and not really care as much. Be like all right. Well, if you don't like me, blah, blah, blah. And they were going to be in there serving alcohol there, which is fine. I'm not saying you shouldn't drink because I don't, I'm just giving you my experience.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

And so that was another part I'm like, okay, so if I go to this reunion, I'm going to be around a lot of people that kind of made my life pretty miserable. I'm going to be in a group which I just had, kind of back-to-back panic attacks, back-to-back weeks, and I'm not going to be able to drink. I mean I can. I mean it's not like I can't walk up and get a drink physically I can do that, but I don't and I don't want to, but I don't and I don't want to, and that was part of the way that I would have gotten through an event like that, or a gathering, a get-together. So those things were, you know, were happening and have been happening, and so I started to think I'm like, all right that you know something, something's going on. I need to my.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

My mind must be on overload. There must be things that I need to simplify or just get rid of that are clutter in my life, and one of those is toxic people, where they just take one of the things, at least for me, a toxic person. They're very interested in what you're doing and so they'll seem interested. Oh wow, you're working on this project, you're doing that and you know anything coming up and some people will, you know, they'll dig and they'll, will dig and they'll dig and they'll dig. And me, being a vulnerable person like that, I tend to. That's another time I end up sharing information and talking is when somebody asks because I'm proud of the things, I'm happy, I'm glad where we're at what we've done and where, where we're going. It's just, it's just incredible.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

But these toxic people come in and you know, steal time. And what do I mean by that is if they, if they call you and they're on, they keep you on the phone for an hour. Well, that's one less hour that I or you have to do things that we either A want to do or B have to do to be able to get to that point to do the things we want to do. What do I mean by that? I mean there's things like like this show, for example, the Hudson Community Television staff here, meg and Dan and all the supporters do an awesome job. So when we're finished filming, we don't do a whole lot of editing. We're, but the staff is gracious enough to do whatever editing and putting the watermark on the.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

If you're viewing and watching on the TV or Rumble or YouTube. When we talk about Rumble and YouTube and audio platforms you have to find, for each episode you have to have a title, a description, keywords, key phrases, and so there's things. And so is that hard? No, it's not hard to do, but it takes a little bit of time to do that. And so that's what I mean by don't really want to have to do those things. You want everything to just magically be there and have that part be done, and then I can spend more time in my mind and just time in general trying to create and think about topics and guests.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

And that's the one thing also that recently I've been finding where, as I was prepping for our show, as I was having a really difficult time coming up with information and topics and things that I usually can just go off the fly and do that just because my mind already has things. My mind has a mind of its own, but my mind actually helps me out and is like oh well, we can do an episode on this or we can do one on that, and those things weren't happening and haven't weren't happening here in the last month or so. So that's how else I knew that there's some overload in my mind. It was causing potentially the symptoms of the panic attack, contributing to the reunion and just having that come up, even just a pop-up or an ad or an email saying, hey, let us know, rsvp, if you're going to be able to make it. We'd love to see us know if you RSVP, if you're going to be able to make it. We love to see you know the whole class of 2000 for Canton Central Catholic High School to you know, join us at this day and this time and those type of things. And so that also happened.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

And then there's people that are time stealers. I guess is what I said that they might talk and listen and seem interested, but in the end it's like how are you helping not just me or the organization, but me as a human? How are you helping me get through this call, this interview, this meeting, this speaking engagement and right, so our mind again, again, we go back to that pie pie chart. So we have 100 total and if all 100 is taken and we're at full capacity, like, let's say, uh, with our phones, right, we have, uh. If you have a any type of a phone, there's usually a memory limit on how much memory photos and emails and text messages and all that. Usually there's a limit. Once you hit that limit you can't go any further, and so our mind is very similar to that where that occurs. But there's no flashing red light, there's nothing that you know blinks, or or you know like you hit the jackpot, like ding, ding, ding ding, like beware, beware. None of that happens.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

And so we have to, we have to help ourselves and we have to try to do things that help us.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

And so, for me, therapy, medication, organization shows, those are where I feel, in a professional sense, I feel the most comfortable.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

As it as it may, as it may be, and and so I have to do a better job of taking the time stealers away as much as possible so I can free up my, my mind, and even even if that means I'm not doing anything or it means I I'm going to be able to go mow the grass, like there's, there's things that my depression recently, again in the last probably month, month and a half, for various various reasons, as I've detailed a lot in this episode, it is really, it has gotten worse, and, and so to me I mean to anybody it's scary.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

I mean to think about it, because then my mind, right if it goes back to 2000, and school, and all those stories and the trauma, whether it was started by me or whether it wasn't when I start thinking about like, oh okay, let's take things back to zero.

Voices for VoicesⓇ Founder, Justin Alan Hayes:

Let's make things basic, like the basic things like food, water, clothing, shelter, security. What things can I do to just focus on those for a period of time? And so we're all able to ignore calls. We get to decide if we want to respond from a text, from an email, whatever that may be, and so I encourage you to look into your life and see if there might be something, some things, some people that are stealing your time and your time, where you think about the things you really love and what you really want to do, and that's okay. You're allowed to do that. Don't let anybody tell you that you're not. So thank you for joining us on this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I encourage you to check out our over 300 episode catalog and until next time, I am Justin Alan Hayes, founder of Voices for Voices.

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