Voices for Voices®

Perfectly Imperfect: Finding Peace with Our Insecurities (Ep 299)

• Founder of Voices for Voices®, Justin Alan Hayes • Season 4 • Episode 299

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Perfectly Imperfect: Finding Peace with Our Insecurities (Ep 299)

Justin reflects on reaching 299 episodes of Voices for VoicesⓇ and the incredible journey of growing from a local Ohio podcast to reaching listeners worldwide.
• Being present in the moment is something Justin still struggles with despite improvement since his 2017 mental health crisis
• Mental illness can create a disconnect between how we appear to others and how we feel inside
• Justin repeatedly asked family members "how do I look?" during his recovery because he couldn't trust his own perception
• Teenage insecurities about acne have evolved into adult insecurities that still affect Justin today
• Stress eating patterns and poor sleep habits remain ongoing challenges connected to mental health
• After hitting rock bottom, Justin had 22 cavities requiring extensive dental work before eventually getting Invisalign
• The journey from mental health crisis to addressing insecurities has taken nearly eight years
• None of us are perfect, and we shouldn't strive for perfection – doing our best must be enough
• Every day we continue living is a present – the present is a present

Please support Voices for VoicesⓇ through likes, shares, subscriptions, or donations at Venmo @Voices4Voices or at voicesforvoices.org. Let's be a voice for ourselves and others in need.

Chapter Markers

0:00 Reflections on 299 Episodes

5:29 Living in the Present Moment

9:12 Rock Bottom: Mental Health Crisis

19:53 Battling Insecurities and Self-Perception

29:09 Stress Eating and Sleep Challenges

38:26 Teeth, Aging, and Finding Confidence

51:20 The Journey Forward: Impact and Purpose

57:13 Episode Closing and Support Request

#PerfectlyImperfect #FindingPeace #EmbraceImperfections #SelfAcceptance #InsecurityJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #BodyPositivity #SelfLoveJourney #MindfulnessMatters #AuthenticLiving #GrowthMindset #InnerPeaceJourney #OvercomingInsecurities #PersonalDevelopment #ConfidenceBuilding #SelfCareAdvice #justiceforsurvivors #justice4survivors #VoicesforVoices #VoicesforVoicesPodcast #JustinAlanHayes #JustinHayes #help3billion #TikTok #Instagram #truth #factoverfictionmatters #transparency #VoiceForChange #HealingTogether

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Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Hey everyone, it's Justin here with Voices for Voices. Thank you so much for joining us on another episode. It's just incredible to be where we're at, having your support, your love, knowing so many people, not just here in Ohio, across the United States, but across the world. It's just incredible how much our show has grown over the last couple of years. It's incredible, it really. It's a word that I use, maybe a lot, but it's because it's true. It's truly incredible where we're at.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

We're on the cusp of having a catalog of 300 in-studio, out-of-studio episodes, like, literally, the show after this one. I believe this one's the 299. Prince has a song let's Party Like it's 1999. Well, we're partying like it's 299 because we are literally, figuratively, we're at 299 episodes. Are you kidding me? We're at 299 episodes, are you kidding me? Oh, I, yeah. So it's One of those things where, when I'm in the moment which I try to be a lot I still have to do a ton of work to be present in the moment and not be looking too far out or too far back, but truly just being in the moment, where I'm sitting on a chair, I am sitting and looking into a camera, I have an earphone in my ear, little things like that that might sound silly. Those are things that ground us and make us be present in the moment instead of not.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I give an example for all those parents out there. You know what I'm talking about. No matter what age your child or children, or your guardians, your siblings, are, there's been at least one time, and I'm guessing there's probably been more than one time, where you, as a parent have asked your child, or you did. You know, when they were younger, when you would ask them a question and they wouldn't respond to you because they're outside playing with their friends, they're reading a book, maybe they're watching TV, and they don't respond the first time and it's like hello, I just asked you a question, are you going to respond to me? It's kind of like that where we have to ask multiple times to get any type of response or feedback, and so that really takes us and helps bring us and ground us in our children. When they eventually respond to us of, okay, I'm being asked a question, I'm doing something else, I need to pay attention to my parents, and so I know all the parents out there, the parents-to-be. Sometimes they can get slightly like, oh my gosh, hello, hello, I'm asking you a question would you like milk or water for dinner or for lunch? And we don't get any feedback. Milk or water for dinner or for lunch, and we don't get any feedback.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

So being present, being in the moment, is something that I can be much better at, but I'm much better than where I was in 2017. You know, hitting rock bottom Never I don't like to use never these terms of like always or never when I hit rock bottom, I didn't know I was going to survive another minute, let alone what type of projects that I may get into and may have an interest in. So when I was in that moment, in those moments, I was just trying to survive. I was just trying to be alive, alive, and so I wasn't spending a whole lot of time out in the future because I was trying to focus on how do I stay alive, how do I get the help that I need, how do I do this? This is very serious, you know, kind of life and death type of talk. That's exactly how I felt.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

So I was definitely way, way, way, way, way in the moment, almost to an extreme, like I remember asking my wife, my parents, my psychiatrist, right? So when we get injured, physically it's a little easier to see, like if we get a bruise or a sprained ankle, we're able to see that, or have somebody be able to see that for us. Or if it's, you know, a torn ligament or something that we might just have pain, but we don't know what that is. And so we need we need some type of testing to have a doctor tell us what's going on. But we know, mentally we can have that smile and we can be nodding and agreeing and everybody thinks we're okay. Well, I was just with him and smiling or holding a conversation, or he's doing this one thing. And you can't do this one thing or these other things if you're truly caught up with your mental illness. And so I was to the point where I was.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I was asking my family and really anybody how do I look? How do I look? Because people are telling me you look fine, you look good, you look great. And there's part of me that's like you're just telling me this because you're my mom, you're my dad, you're my wife, you're my doctor, you're, you're saying that, right, it's uh. Well, you know we're gonna tell our children, you know we want to. You know, help boost their confidence and self-esteem. And so there's those thoughts. And that's where I was at. I was like you're lying, because I don't feel all right. I don't feel that I look all right.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I look in the mirror and I see somebody who is sick that needs help. Who is sick that needs help. And I remember asking so many times. I remember my dad picking me up because I had fear of driving, and so once I was released from the hospital, there still is today a lot of work that I'm doing for myself so I can try to do the best I can to help others and to be there as a husband and as a father and a son and a brother and a brother-in-law and as an uncle and nephew all of these, all these.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And I was so caught up in what do I look like? How do you're just saying this? And I remember my dad. He'd say you look good today. And it wasn't that I didn't want to believe him, it was just I didn't feel like I was sick. And I was. I didn't feel okay, or even close to okay. So I was like are you sure? Are you just saying that? And it's not funny. It's not funny at all. If you've been there.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

If you know somebody and they do that a lot of times because I'm given my experience a lot of times if somebody's doing that and asking you, there can be the hey, we're, I don't know. We're doing stuff with friends. We're going out to the bar, the club or whatever, like, hey, how do I look? That's one thing I'm talking on a day-to-day basis. Truly, you're saying I look okay, are you sure, are you serious? That's much different than hey, we're going out with our friends and how do we look? Oh, you look great. Or you look good, you look handsome, you look pretty. Again, that's the same thing, the same type of question, but much different reasoning behind it, but much different reasoning behind it. And so I have, and I still have, you know, these, I guess, insecurities and I've talked about in depth before. I think it's something I just need to talk about more and be okay talking about it more.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

You know we did a recent episode on a very successful football player and on the outside, you know he had the car, he had the money, he had the outside, you know he had the cars, he had the money, he had the wife, he had all these things that on the optic level. On the outside, the periphery, what the public would see and hear would think oh wow, he's living his best life. Yet down deep he was battling depression and he was battling those demons that sometimes they come and go. Sometimes they come and go, sometimes they come and stay, and he tragically ended up taking his life walking in front of a train moving. So that's what I mean. This isn't funny, this isn't. This isn't improv hour, comedy hour. This is real life we're talking about.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

So if somebody asks you over and over and over and over again, how do I look, how do I seem? Over and over and over and over again, how do I look, how do I seem? There's probably more to it than just a little insecurity. There's probably a lot, because I've been there and there's a lot of things that make that up.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I remember growing up, you know a lot of teenagers, you know, have you know breakouts on their face called acne, breakouts on their face called acne, and that was one of the things that I was very insecure about. I was insecure, I didn't want to go to school, I didn't want to be seen because there would be scars, there would be redness at various places, all across my cheeks and my nose and my forehead and my chin and my neck and I was like, am I ever going to get through this? Truly, am I ever going to get through this? Am I ever going to get through this? And some of you may say, well, that's just a phase. Well, maybe that aspect you know, in general, the older we get the likelihood of breakouts like that all the time, like I was experiencing and these weren't just once a week type of deals where it was like a little bit here, there, and I'm a guy, so what I do?

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I'm going to wear makeup, I mean, I could, and so these are the things that, besides going to school, besides having to battle the self-esteem of just being a teenager and trying to fit in with people, with a group, to feel included and to have that, that was something that I was so insecure about for so long and I still get that way. So, with my mental illnesses and some of the medication I take and it can cause, you know, they call it picking, you know, and so you've probably seen me from time to time. I mean, right now you can see like on my nose a little bit here, where I'll just I don't want to say be bored, but you know, maybe wash my face and then I'm, you know, like, oh, there's a bump here. And then I'm like, oh, I'll pop this or whatever. And then it turns out it's a full blown thing where, like a whole, like section of my face may turn red and it may take several days or a week or longer to heal.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And I know some of you may think, well, you know, you have that your choice. It's like, well, it is, but I don't sit there when this is happening, going okay, justin, you know, if you do this and it, it's more than that nervousness, that, um, that stress, whatever that's manifest in itself. And so I, still at the age of 43, have that same insecurity. And these ones are by me doing it and not always you know internally where you, where the bacteria grows in and then forms in the pimples and blackheads and whiteheads, and all that fun, not fun. I say fun and a ha-ha. It wasn't fun and it's not fun now. And so I get self conscious. The same thing now, like, oh well, even with, even with zoom and all this technology, you know, to help the appearance look on the screen, it doesn't always cover things up To help the appearance look on the screen. It doesn't always cover things up, and so it's something we should be able to be open about. So that's something that's me. That's something that I dealt with many, many, many, many years ago and I'm still dealing with now, just really in a different way, and I'll tell you another two areas.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

The next one is eating. So, at my lowest, mentally, I was down to eating carrot sticks and plain hummus. As you can imagine, my weight plummeted. I think I was down 35, 40 pounds, and it wasn't because I wanted to, I just wasn't eating. Food didn't taste good. I felt like I wanted to, I just wasn't eating. Food didn't taste good. I felt like I was allergic. I'd eat something and I would start itching, and then I'd be like, oh well, I can't eat that now. Nope, can't eat this. And it was this awful spiral that I was in and it was real, it really happened.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

There's some things that go oh yeah, you're making that up. No, trust me, I prefer not to be talking about this on a podcast that is going across the world to so many people, dignitaries, everybody. I would prefer not to be talking about this, but it's something that is. As a human being. It's something that some of us, maybe a lot of us, sometimes maybe it's all of us we go through from time to time. So, believe me, I would not be talking about this if this did not happen. It was unkind, not fun, made me feel even more secluded, like nobody wanted to be around me, except those, you know, kids that say, oh well, you know they don't have a group really to fit into. Or, oh, this person has a locker next door to me, so next door, right next to me, and so maybe we'll start up a conversation.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And that was a little bit of a gateway to some of the substance abuse that I was doing before 18 and after 18, before 21. And then after I turned 21. And so the eating part. So in 2017, it was like I was not trying to lose the weight and I was losing it. Now I've gained a bunch, and it's hard to talk about because I get it. I get that our bodies change over time, as we get older and we age. But just the eating part, not even talking about the exercise part, just the pure eating.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I go into these spurts that make zero sense, but I do it. I'll give you an example one day I ate breakfast, maybe had a little bit for lunch. When I say a little bit, that's probably a snack, so it's not. Even I don't want to say it's not real food, but it's not the nourishing food. And then I'd have an event to go to or a place to be and I would go into a frenzy. And what do I mean by that? I mean that my heart starts racing. I'm like, oh my gosh, I got to go. I'm going to be in front of a lot of people. They're going to be looking at me, or I'm going to be part of a group or what have you.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And so I started doing this like and it's not on purpose, I don't plan it this way but where I'm like I need to eat something, I don't have time to make something, and it's where do I go eat something? I don't have time to make something. It's where do I go? I go, look at the junk food Handful or two or three or four or five or six of chips, and then I have crackers and then I have a little bit of sugary cereal, and it's just, I go into these frenzied time and I look at, look at myself and look back. Once I kind of pass through that little phase it's not a phase, but that time let's just say that's a 10-minute thing I'll stop and be like, oh my gosh, justin, you just ate the worst kind of food that you can.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And so, for whatever reason, I had these cravings and I've talked to people and it's stress eating at times where the stress is just building up, building up, building up. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I got to, I gotta eat something, I gotta have something in my stomach, because I don't I don't want to feel like I'm passing out, and because those things happen. They happen to me, they happened years ago, they happened recently, they just happen, and so it's a real thing that I think through and then at night kind of creeps on back in the stress eating, be shooting an episode, working on this or that, just relaxing, watching a concert, I don't know, just having a as normal as I can get, a normal night, normal evening. And then I go oh, you know what tastes good some ice cream. So I go and I, you know what it tastes good, some ice cream. So I go and I look and do we have any ice cream? And if we do. It's like, okay, I take the ice cream, the container, out of the freezer, out of the ice box, take the lid off, get out a spoon, and I go sit on the couch or on a chair and you're probably saying, well, wait a minute, where's the getting the bowl?

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

At Many times it's not there. It's the container with the ice cream in it. However, much is in there. There's one hand of mine holding it and another hand with a phone watching. Is it because I need the ice cream, because I want it, or is it stress? And I've talked to people and some have offered sometimes these things happen to them and they say, oh yeah, that's my stress eating. I do that from time to time. Well, I do that more often than I should.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

So that's me today, that's me after 2017 of having the crash, and so now I'm trying to unsuccessfully find a way I don't want to be on one of these fad diets or anything but a way where I can eat full meals, where it's like I don't have to think about it, but where, I guess, where I don't have to think about it. Instead of, my body doesn't have these cravings, these salt cravings, these sugar cravings, and then there's sleep. Oh well, it doesn't matter how much sleep you get. You go to bed when you can, you wake up when you need to and you do what you need to do. Well, we know by now that sleep is very important. It's a way for rest. Rejuvenation of our body helps heal wounds. If we skinned our knee or our arm or, you know, pick my face and I have a wound, it helps repair that over the moments that we're resting. And so I know I need to get to bed earlier more often, but I don't. I stay up because I can and that's if me being a, I'm going to do it because I can do it and I'm just going to do it. And now a lot of work does get done in the evening. In the evening, a lot of the processing of shows and other projects and things that I can't talk about because we're not going to give competitive advantages away. But there's a lot of good work that's done.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

But I'm still stress-eating, craziness at times and my sleep. That affects it right. So I'm drinking pop or soda more than I used to when I was younger, when I was in college, I very rarely would drink pop or soda unless it was in a mixed drink of alcohol, just being honest. Otherwise I didn't. It would just pretty much be water. And that's kind of how it would go when I'd be working during my college years on summer break the golf course I would drink a lot of Coca-Cola. I think two or three or four cans a day. I think two or three or four cans a day.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

But I was out and about moving around and was it healthy? No, is it healthy now? No, but I always had more activity that I was doing, and now it's. It's like my mind is staying so incredibly active. If I could just take half of that, half of that strength, half of that energy and put it into the getting exercise, that would be helpful. What I think Getting exercise, that would be helpful.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

What I think is going on and I'm just keeping it real what I think is going on is, as I've grown up or I'm at least older, age-wise that life is getting harder and harder and people that I know and loved ones are passing away. They're dying. They're going to heaven, I hope. If they're not already there, I hope they're on their way, and so they're. I used to think it was a small part but maybe it's a bigger part of things that I have real trouble having an idea.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Let's say there's four steps to whatever this project is. If I complete step one and step two and step three and I'm like, yeah, I'll just wait till step four to do it tomorrow, there's a part of me is like, well, what if you don't wake up tomorrow? Then all this work that you put into this thing, this particular thing, it's not going to have an opportunity to help anybody because it's still going to be just sitting on my computer. And I know I need to work through this. But this is something that the true struggle that I have, and so I stay up later, many, many evenings and and I finished that for that or that third step, you know however many. It depends on what project, what thing we're talking about.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Because, because I'm like, well, I know all our time here is limited on Earth, mine is, yours is, everybody's is, and I want to give it my all. And that's why I'm so emotionally connected and so emotionally involved and emotionally believe in voices for voices and and helping three billion people or the course of my lifetime and beyond. It's not just some number I just throw out there and well, we'll see, you know. No, I'm, I'm serious. This is, this is what I'm working towards, this is what we're working towards, this is what voices for voices is working for, and if you become part of our team, do you volunteer? If you like, share, subscribe, you're part of us, you're part of the voices for voices movement and I guess I kind of feel like if I don't finish back to this you know four steps for a project if I don't finish those four steps before I go to bed, I feel like I'm letting somebody down.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I don't know who, but I feel like I'm, I could be letting somebody down. You know I'm not famous, we're not famous. You know, like Michael Jackson and Prince, and you know Kurt Cobain and Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell and people who have. You know we just talk about musically. There's music and songs that they've written and recorded, that somebody knows where they're at, somebody knows. Okay, here's what we're going to do, how we're going to release this after I pass.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

I don't have that. I don't have that structure built. I wish I did. I don't have that structure built. I wish I did. I don't. We don't.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

We operate very leanly, and so that's part of my insecurity of if I don't finish this before I go to bed, there's a really good chance that the minutes and the hours, depending on what the project is, that means that's all for naught, and I don't want that to happen, and it may just end up be that way sometime where I'm just not able to finish the project before I go to bed. I might just need to lay down and rest, and so I get so insecure about that, and these are hard things to talk about. I mean, we're talking about real life, real stuff, and this is the stuff that happens. I'm going to adjust this for a second. There we go.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And then, lastly, for this particular episode, I'm talking about insecurities. So you might be able to see my teeth. So they're much straighter, they're much more attractive than they were at this time last year, and so I went and I decided to get braces. I got the Invisalign and I just had they call them like the attachments, where the attachments are are connected to the teeth, and then you have what aligners that you wear for 21, 22 hours a day, unless you're eating or drinking something that's not water. I just got those taken off about a week or two ago, and so I'm moving into the phase of getting, probably about a week or two ago. And so I'm moving into the phase of getting my retainer that I'll be just wearing, you know, in the evening and overnight hours. You know the 12 hours 10 to 12 hours or so, whatever that time may be to hold my teeth where they're at.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And so I bring this up, not because I got Invisalign and not because of how expensive they are or that my teeth are white. I bring it up because that was an insecurity of mine as well, and it still is. I had braces twice when I was younger. I had them once and then they came off and I had them again. Well, the research at that time didn't say that you needed to have a retainer to keep your teeth as they were when your braces would be taken off. And so the years went by and not so much my top one but my bottom one were really crooked. There was like two of the front bottom teeth that were like jetting out and I didn't. I felt so insecure smiling. So this whole, like it kind of takes me, took me back to to my school age time where I was insecure because of my acne and my face and, uh, how I was feeling and all these things. So here I am, you know, a 30-something-year-old man, and now I'm 43.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

But last year I decided you know what? This is an area that affects my confidence, and if we're going to do these shows and we're going to do this thing, it means that there's going to be a lot of people that I'm going to be around talking to. They're going to see me, and they're going to see me for the face of the organization, or the voice of the organization, and I said you know what, why don't I do it? And so I did. And I was, I kid you not, I was so happy when I decided to do it and when I got them on, got the attachments that would be helping the aligner, you know, move my teeth. You know, bit by bit, you know, week by week, I was so happy and I was like, oh my God, I'm excited. How do I get started? When I was nine years old, I was like get this stuff off of me. I was like, get this off of me, I don't want this. And here I am now. Let's get this rolling.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And so, with my mental health in 2017, coming out of the doldrums, coming out of the valley. One of the things were my teeth. Not only were they crooked, they were, it was just a big beat. Where are my teeth? Not only were they crooked, they were, it was just a big seat. And anybody with depression or any, it's not that brushing your teeth is, you know this remarkably hard thing to do for most of us, but it was. It's hard for me to do. I was just like, oh, I don't want to go brush my teeth, I just want to go to bed. And then I go to bed. And so I was at that point where things are starting to move in a positive direction mentally, still had a crazy amount of work to do and still have a ton of work to do mentally and just in general as a human.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

When I finally got the guts to be like okay, I'm going to go back, I'm going to go to the dentist, I'm not even going to make this up. This is one of those things again, I would not be talking about if it didn't happen. I had a total of 32 32 32 is when I overdosed on the cold and cold medicine, I think 32, I believe it was 22 cavities, and so you can have a cavity like on the front of the tooth and the back, and so that's what the total was. It was this crazy high amount. I ended up having to get a crown. There were so many visits to the dentist. That was just to get that in a positive direction. That then addressed the crookedness of the teeth. Get that in a positive direction. That then addressed the crookedness of the teeth and how I wasn't brushing my teeth every day because my mind was just exhausting me, oh my gosh. And so for me to get these braces and get them off and to get these, this retainer that I'm going to be getting here very shortly. It's an area that I'm able to now be a little bit more confident in myself.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And it's not that I need to be perfect, because I'm not. Nobody is, none of us are perfect at all. I have gray hair. I have gray hair coming in on the side more, and my daughter is funny. She says, because I've been growing out my hair a little bit longer than usual and so obviously the gray is more pronounced, and she's like you have white hair right here and why, don't you know, I don't have gray hair. I'm like no, you're not, you're not going to have gray hair for a long time. And she's like, well, you should. And this is what the child says. I say, well, why don't you just go color it? That's what mom does, and it's true. I mean, it's it's, it's kind of funny. And she's bringing this up and I'm like, well, yeah, like I can.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And then I have this conversation with this little person, my daughter, and say, well, you know, daddy hasn't colored my hair. I haven't grown it out this much before, so I don't know how much coloring I need. But I do know one thing a lot of you know there's different chemicals and things that are in, are in hair color, and I and I know that I, um, I'm sensitive to a lot of things and, uh and, and so I, if I do color it, I'm gonna have to be very careful. What I, what I used, is. That was one of the reasons why, when I was coloring it, at some point I stopped, because I'm just like, oh, this is makes, it makes my eyes, and so that would be what would happen. But, yeah, so my teeth, I had all these cavities. I knew I probably did. But then to hear like, oh, justin, you have, when was the last time you were at a dentist and then to hear that big number and then to go through with all the fillings and then the crown and all these things.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

2017, in November, we're going on eight years since then. It's taken that much time for me to get comfortable enough in my own skin to start working on some of these bigger areas, like my teeth. I need a lot of work to do on my eating and my nutrition. I still need to do a lot of work on my sleep, and so sometimes, while I compensate, I'll maybe take a nap during the day or I'll sleep in when I can, and so, anyways, all the things I've been talking about and sharing on this episode are you know, these are insecurities. They happen to people when they're 8, 9, 10, 25, 37, 49, 51, 60, whatever. I mean. These things just happen and it's just a way and it's life and it's hard, and so I'll end on this.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

So, going back to the time where somebody would say, oh yeah, you look like you're doing better, yeah, you got more color. You know you're less ashy looking and you know you're more color to your complexion, and and I'm like, are you sure, are you just saying that it's been a long? It's been a long journey, and that journey is just going to continue as long as God wants it to continue. And so are there going to be days and nights when I'm going to be working on a project and I'm going to stay up to finish it, because I want to make sure that it gets out, that if I am to pass away in my sleep, if it's my time to go, I want to at least know that I did everything I could. I did everything I could, everything that I could to help people.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

It doesn't make me perfect, it doesn't make me a saint, it doesn't make me any of those. I just know that for so much of my life I was all about me, me, and the only thing I care about was me and what me was doing, what me was thinking, what me was feeling. And that sometimes still happens, and sometimes it may look that way, but doesn't mean I'm thinking that or feeling that, and that's that's a hard thing I'm trying to work through. Is that whole? Look at me. Well, it looks like you're having fun, it looks like you're doing your thing, you're talking normally or whatever, and so there's still that, and I think that's why that was one of the big things years ago, where I would go. Are you sure you say I'm looking okay, looking better? Are you just saying that? Are you just saying that?

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

And so these insecurities are just going to keep coming up for us all, and so we just do the best we can. None of us are perfect. We shouldn't even be striving for perfection because we're not going to get there. There may be some things we do better than others. We're not going to get there. There may be some things we do better than others, but we're not perfect. None of us are. And so, just like I had insecurities when I was growing up, I have insecurities.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

As I sit here in front of you today, or if you're listening, I have a lot of insecurities. So, whether I'm smiling, whether I'm laughing, whether I have a very little emotion, like face, or little inflections and little emotion in my voice, or if I have more, I still have these insecurities, these insecurities, and so it's really just how do we do the best we can with the time that we have, with the people that we love, and that's, I think, what I've learned, because I'm a fixer, I want to fix something, I want things to get 100%, and I have to keep reminding myself Justin, you're not perfect, you're not going to be perfect. Stop trying to be perfect. Do as much as you can and just let it be much as you can and just let it be. And so I say that as I look at where we're at as an organization, as the next show after this one is going to be number 300. And so I think we're doing. I think we're doing okay.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

If you can give us a big thumbs up like share, follow, subscribe, that would help us out so much, so, very much. You don't even know, and if it still moves you and you're able to and you want to, we are Voices for Voices and we are a 501c nonprofit and so we do accept donations of any denomination. You can do that at Venmo, at Voices, the number for Voices, at Voices, the number for Voices, or you can head on over to Voices F-O-R for Voicesorg. So Venmo is Venmo, venmo is Voices, the number for Voices, to get Voices for Voices, and our website is Voices, and then for, spelled out, f-o-r. Voicesorg. That takes you directly to our homepage, top middle. You'll see a spot where you're able to click and support the show and organization, and we would, as we always are incredibly grateful to any and all ways of participating with Voices for Voices, if it's sharing our show with somebody, if it's following us, if it's subscribing, if it's donating $5, it's reaching out for volunteer opportunities.

Voices for VoicesⓇ, Justin Alan Hayes:

Regardless, we want to be a voice for ourselves and others in need, and so that's what I ask you Please be a voice for you or somebody in need, and that we should spend more time celebrating voices instead of putting them down. Let's celebrate, let's celebrate life. Let's celebrate. Let's celebrate life. Let's celebrate voices, let's celebrate the differences we have, let's celebrate the wins that we have. Every day that we continue to live on this earth is a present because it's today, today, this moment, this time is a present. The past is the past, the future is the future. The present is a present. So until next time. We want to thank you so much for joining us, tuning in, watching us, listening here in the United States, across the world, dignitaries, average people like me. Thank you so much and we look forward to coming to you on our next episode, which is 300. Wow, so we'll see you then. Thank you so much.

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Justin Alan Hayes

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