Voices for Voices®

Private Parts Shouldn't Be Taboo When Teaching Child Safety | Episode 258

• Founder of Voices for Voices®, Justin Alan Hayes • Season 4 • Episode 258

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Private Parts Shouldn't Be Taboo When Teaching Child Safety | Episode 258

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Kathy Picard shares her journey as a child sexual abuse survivor who became a powerful advocate and law-changer, helping extend the statute of limitations for survivors and creating resources to protect children.

• Sexual abuse is unfortunately pervasive with 93% of children knowing their abusers
• Kathy's children's book "I Love You So Much That" teaches 2-9 year olds about body safety and private parts
• Some schools refuse to allow discussion of "private parts" despite its importance for child safety
• Organizations like Enough Abuse Campaign work to change laws protecting children
• Massachusetts laws now allow survivors to pursue criminal charges until age 43 and civil cases until 53
• Kathy's memoir "Life With My Idiot Family" details her 10-year abuse experience and path to justice
• Resources include malesurvivor.org, 1in6.org, Massachusetts Children's Alliance, and Child Help
• Despite facing a brain tumor during her legal battle, Kathy persevered to change laws

Find Kathy's books "Life With My Idiot Family" on Amazon in print, Kindle, and Audible formats, and "I Love You So Much That" in English and bilingual Spanish/English versions. Contact Kathy at kathychildadvocate@gmail.com for bulk orders.

#ChildSafety #BodyAwareness #PrivatePartsEducation #SafeKids #HealthyBoundaries #ParentingTips #SexEdForKids #EmpoweredChildren #TalkAboutIt #SafeTouch #PreventAbuse #ChildProtection #OpenConversations #ConsentEducation #FamilyCommunication #Instagram #VoicesforVoices #VoicesforVoicesPodcast #JustinAlanHayes #JustinHayes #help3billion 

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Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Hi everyone, thank you for joining us for another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I am your host, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes. We are ecstatic to be where we're at episode-wise over 250 episodes, well on our way to a total of in-studio and out-of-studio episodes totaling at least 300 by the end of calendar year 2025. We want to thank each and every one of you, if this is your first time tuning in or if you've been with us from the beginning. Uh, we, uh, you know we can't do this without your, your love and support. If you can give us a thumbs up, subscribe like, share all that good stuff that's free to do and that will help us continue on our uh, on our huge goal of wanting to help 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

This episode, like all episodes, are very powerful, important topics and it's great timing for our guest here today. A sexual abuse survivor. A law changer, just like Elliston Berry, with a take it down act that just got signed into law, that take it down law signed by President Trump, making you know, altering photos, putting those up a felony that can be prosecuted as well as Big Tech has 48 hours to take those photos down. And, just like Ellison, our guest, kathy Picard, is a law changer. She's actually we're just so grateful she's been with people to come forward to talk to their children about their private parts and that you know if somebody, a stranger, is asking and touching them inappropriately, that that's not okay and that is no more evident than in Kathy Picard's book. I Love you so Much that in the previous episode we shared a little bit of that content Books available everywhere episode we we shared a little bit of that content. Uh, books available uh everywhere. Uh, amazon, it's in english, it's in spanish, and we were just so grateful for kathy to join us today.

Kathy Picard:

Thank you for joining us, kathy thank you, thank you, and, like you said, we definitely have a history. Just we go way back, I think. Oh my goodness, it must be like at least three, four years.

Kathy Picard:

I think so yeah yeah, so we, we definitely have a history. Um, that goes to say that this particular topic, sexual abuse, is in the forefront. It's always been there. More people are standing up, more people are using their voices, and that's very important to do, because sexual abuse, unfortunately it will never go away. It's all there. You're always going to have instances, you're always going to have predators. You're people that are harming our kids, and we need to give them the voice that they need to be able to say mom, dad, auntie, uncle this is happening to me. Telling their teacher is very important, not having people shun them away and tell them not to talk about it. It's too personal. That little child is going home and being touched inappropriately. We need to stop that. The youngest I heard is a two-month-old baby. It's very scary, it's happening and really we need to help these kids.

Kathy Picard:

I speak not only for the kids, but to helping other survivors, men and women, to use their voice to get the help that they need. It's not their fault. They're not alone. You know. The best thing to do that I've learned is to talk about it. Get the counseling that you need, but go, go on living a happy, healthy life because, damn, you deserve it. You know, everybody deserves to have this in their life and I've been. My husband calls me a chatty Kathy, so that's fine. I've been doing this for about 25 years, going out, speaking hospitals, colleges, different organizations for kids, ymca, boys and Girls Club.

Kathy Picard:

As Justin said, I wrote a children's book that he kindly read to you parts of it. I love you so much that that I ask you to brush your teeth, wear a coat, pay attention to your teacher, not to talk to strangers. They're all life lessons and why you should do this. It's so important to read this book to the kids. It's for two to nine-year-olds, but letting them know one, you're taking the time to read them a book, you're taking that time. I was never read a children's book. I was plopped down in front of the TV. That's one of the reasons why I did write this children's book, besides helping to keep kids safer. Besides helping to keep kids safer and it's amazing of how many people one of the parts in this book is to keep your private parts private.

Kathy Picard:

I am being told by some schools, some institutions that's too private. You can't say that. What is wrong with the words private parts? They're saying worse words than these. They're handing out condoms, why can't we say private parts? What is so wrong with that? I just don't understand. That just amazes me, you know. So I'm glad that I wrote the book. You know, some schools have said, kathy, if you take that particular page out, we will allow you to come in. No, I'm not taking that page out, and damn you for not allowing these kids to get this resource in their life. You know, it's not up to the schools, it's up to the parents. If the parents chose not to have that child read, be sitting in that particular reading environment, then that's up to the parents. It's not up to the schools.

Kathy Picard:

And I'm going to keep going until I get into as many schools as possible to give that opportunity to the kids. The kids love it. They love seeing my little dog, abby, in there. She paw signs, the books. They love that the pages are so colorful. And you know, I give them toothbrushes, I give them paw stickers. But it's important to show these kids they are loved.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

They are being told that I wasn't. Yeah, and that's uh, I think that's that's important. It uh, it appears, and we're finding out on other other issues where, uh, you know individual organizations, people, they say they support a topic or a thing For the human trafficking survivors and, with the sexual abuse survivors, any survivor that's gone through trauma that I can't even fathom what you've gone through, or a human trafficking survivor, it really just, it's just crazy to me that people will say, oh, I support you, I support what you're doing, your advocacy, support what you're doing, your advocacy, but then, when it comes down to actual supporting it and stepping forward and saying I stand with Kathy, I stand with David, I stand with Justin and all the Like you said, it's bigger than us. It's not just for one child, one person.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

This is a public safety concern that we're bringing to the forefront and that's why I love having you on and sharing your story, your message, your advocacy, your book, because it's time to step out of the shadows, it's time to come forward. Yeah, it's maybe an uncomfortable topic or subject, but how do you want your children to find out? Do you want them to find out from you as a parent, a guardian or, like you mentioned, or do you want them to find out from a teacher, a school being told. So that's, it's just huge and you know. Thank you for everything you have done and you're still continuing to do, because this is a huge problem in society and people like you are giving a voice to the voiceless.

Kathy Picard:

Yeah, and it's. There are, like you mentioned, there's other people besides us, justin. There is Enough Abuse campaign. You know they're wonderful in Boston. They're working on helping to change the laws. They're working on extending the timeframe for justice for survivors. They are working on not passing teachers, school to school, priests, church to church. They are working on so many bills now that's a no brainer that they need to be passed. So, right, as we speak, they are working on these bills. So shout out to Enough Abuse. Massachusetts Children's Alliance, child Help these are, there's so many. Even Mariska Haggerty, law and Order. You know she's got people that contact her that are survivors.

Kathy Picard:

So there are a lot of organizations to particular for men, one in sixorg malesurvivororg. You know it's just amazing of organizations out there, but we get the bar strapped down in front of us not to go forward and that's wrong. And you're right. You know, being a survivor from seven to 17,. I'm 62, I'm going to be 63 in August, but it's like it doesn't stop. Yes, I was a quiet, shy child when I was sexually abused, from seven to 1710 years, and people are like, oh my God, 10 years Once is too much, you know, but 10 years of this monster sexually abusing me and it's like people don't realize. You know he worked for Toys for Tots, he volunteered, he did this, he did that, he was so great. You know it's the people that you least expect it, but it's people that are known to these kids. Ninety three percent they know who their abusers are. It's not stranger danger. Thankfully they're not really talking too much about stranger danger because it's not. It's people that are known to this family and shame on you know these. It's a shame that we can't have kids go to sleepovers because it's not who's in the family, but who is walking through that door. Is it somebody that's known to somebody? That's known to somebody that's a perpetrator? Is it the neighbor coming over to say hi and doing something inappropriate to that kid so the kids can't even have a sleepover? Like, how sad is that, you know, but it's. It's sad what I went through. So many have gone through it, men and women. It'll never go away. But he doesn't win. I win, you know, going out, like you mentioned, writing my book Life With my Idiot Family. It's a true story of survival, courage and justice over childhood sexual abuse.

Kathy Picard:

My husband and I took us five years to write this book and it was hard. My husband learned more about me in those five years as a child than he ever knew. But to go through that time period of me as a innocent child and going through abuse, it was hard to write, not alone speak on Audible. You know I had to do it. I did it in my own voice. But speaking my story on Audible, it was hard.

Kathy Picard:

You know you're in a closet and the producer, ed, who is wonderful said Kathy, he's in another room, kathy, stop wiping your hands on your pants and I go. You hear that he goes. I hear everything. Don't burp, don't fart, don't do anything. I hear everything. So it's like you know. Don't do anything. I hear everything. So it's like you know. It was hard to do that.

Kathy Picard:

But my story is out there. It's reached as far as Serbia. You know 900 people have listened to the audible and and I still get idiot members of the family. There she goes again. Oh my God, she's looking for attention, she's doing this, you're doing that. You know I didn't go to college. I my story is lived experience. And shame on those that feel like she's talking about it again. You know you'll never get it, you'll never understand.

Kathy Picard:

But a survivor. Some can't tell their story, and I'm fortunate, and I'm happy to tell my story because I want to help others to go through it, and I'm happy to tell my story because I want to help others to go through it. You know, and I'm never going to help everybody, but, justin, as you said, our time here on earth, what have you done? Is it? Are you a me, me, me, me, me person, or are you a me, too person sharing your story? You know, don't be so. I don't even have words for it, but don't just be a narcissist or don't be all about yourself helping other people. And, as you know, if we go tomorrow, the legacy we've left behind. I'm proud of it, you know, and so I continue on.

Kathy Picard:

You know I went through a brain tumor. At the end of during my trial, I found out that I had a brain tumor. I'm like I can't get that done yet Because I've been fighting to help to change the laws in Massachusetts. After the law changed, after my trial ended, then it was time to get my noggin cut open and have this brain tumor removed in 2015. But I'm still here.

Kathy Picard:

You know, I survived and it wasn't my time to go, but it was important for me to change these laws, to get the laws extended for survivors to go forward. And in Massachusetts there's criminal and there's civil Criminal changed September 21st 2006. Criminal and they're civil Criminal change September 21st 2006. So, instead of a survivor being 31, a survivor, as it stands currently, can be up to the age of 43 years old and go forward. And people think, oh my God, it's so long, it's so long. But you know, you got to have that time when you feel comfortable, when you're ready for that fight because it is a true fight, when you're ready for that fight because it is a true fight.

Kathy Picard:

I couldn't get my stepfather, who sexually abused me, through a criminal charge, which I would have loved to throw him in jail, have him register as a sex offender, which he'll never have to do, which is not right. That's another law we need to change. So I did fight him on civil. The civil statute, the civil law, did change June 26 2014. And that gave a survivor a huge increase. So, instead of being 21 years old, they can and it still stands 53 years old. You have until 53 years old to go and fight for the abuse that you endured and that's huge.

Kathy Picard:

There really should be no timeframe. The only crime is murder. Where there's no timeframe and, in fact, being sexually abused, you are murdering a child's innocence. So that's why I feel as though we should step up, like the other six or seven states where there's no time frame, and that needs to take place. But, going through my trial, my trial was held in federal court after the laws changed. So November 2 to the 6, 2015 was when I had my trial in Springfield, massachusetts, and I won my trial and I'm still fighting the fight. You know, um, he says I have no money. I have no money, but you know it's not about the money, because it's really dirty money, but he needs to pay for what his actions that he did to me.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Absolutely. We have like 30 seconds left. Can you just plug your book where you can find it, and all that.

Kathy Picard:

So Life With my Idiot Family. You can find it in Audible. It's on Kindle and in book format on Amazon. If you're looking for bulk for many of them, you can reach out to me, kathy Child Advocate at gmailcom. I love you so much. That is my kid's book Wicked Wicked Cute. I got. I love you so much. That is my kids book wicked wicked cute. I gotta show you the pages how colorful they are. And then it's also in the bilingual Spanish and English. The same book, but it has activity pages in it. So please support me, get my book, read it to a child, give it out in a baby shower, just give it to a neighbor, just to help to keep our kids safer. And, justin, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all.

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