Voices for Voices®

Confronting the Digital Harassment Epidemic: The Amanda Solomon Story | Ep 251

• Founder of Voices for Voices®, Justin Alan Hayes • Season 4 • Episode 251

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Confronting the Digital Harassment Epidemic: The Amanda Solomon Story | Ep 251

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Amanda Solomon returns to share her personal experiences with digital exploitation and online harassment, revealing how innocent association with others can make anyone a target of cyberbullying and revenge porn.

• Discussion of First Amendment rights and public safety concerns
• Overview of the recently passed Take it Down Law requiring big tech to remove altered images within 48 hours
• Amanda shares how she became a victim of identity theft and online harassment through her association with her husband
• Details about fraudulent pornography subscriptions charged to her account by her husband's harasser
• Amanda reveals her experience with revenge porn when an ex-boyfriend posted private images from their teenage relationship to a revenge website over a decade later
• Exploration of the mental health impact of digital exploitation and harassment
• Emphasis on how speaking out helps victims heal and potentially helps others who are suffering silently

If you've enjoyed this episode, please give us a thumbs up on YouTube, Rumble, Apple, or wherever you consume our TV show and podcast. This small action helps us continue our work to help others.

#DigitalHarassment #VictimAdvocacy #AmandaSolomon #OnlineSafety #CyberBullyingAwareness #FightBackAgainstHate #EmpowermentThroughEducation #SocialMediaResponsibility #MentalHealthMatters #WomenInTechAdvocacy#StopTheStigma #DigitalRightsMovement #ResilienceAndRecovery #CommunitySupportForVictims #SafeOnlineSpaces

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Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Hey everyone. Thank you for joining us again here on another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I'm your host, Justin Alan Hayes, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices. Thank you for joining us for the first episode or if you've been with us since the beginning, or if you've been with us since the beginning, if you can do us a big favor, give us a big thumbs up on our YouTube, rumble Apple. Anywhere that you consume our TV show and podcast, that's something that is free, that you can do. That will help us as we continue that work to help 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond the lofty goal but I'm just a lofty person with some dreams and that, and so that's where that comes in. So thank you for joining us here in the United States of America or anywhere else around the world. Thank you for joining us.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

One thing as we continue this or, I guess, start this episode, this episode, but continue conversation that we've had, say, maybe the last six months, has really picked up. We mentioned in an earlier episode that being a US citizen is awesome and I don't take it for granted. Our board, our guests who are US citizens here we don't take that for granted, and if you're from another country, I bet you don't take your citizenship for granted. And with that, here in the United States we have something that's called the Constitution. It's something that was our founding fathers put together, and there are topics called amendments, and the first one is called the First Amendment, right? So really, you know really fancy terminology, right? First Amendment freedom of speech. I cannot like what you say. I can disagree, and that's okay, that's covered under the Constitution, free speech. And so, just as that is the case, so too is the case that I have the right, as a US citizen, as do our guests that we have on the show that are US citizens, we have the ability and have that protection of free speech.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Secondly, we have something that's called public concern. Concern, and part of that is if there are incidents, topics that could really have society. It has the opportunity to hurt other people and we talk about, you know, one in specific, I'm not. We might get into the naming of that, but I am pretty sure that everybody kind of has an idea what that is. But when we're having to worry about our safety as individuals, as families, as Americans, and from your you know if you're outside of the US, you know, to a sporting event, a concert, amusement park, and not have to constantly be looking over our back and try to take security measures, because individuals are coming after us, physically, mentally, and so that's where the public concern comes in. So we're talking about, as I mentioned in an earlier episode, you know, we have that single cheeseburger, that single patty. That's the First Amendment, free speech. Now we have the second, that's the second patty making that a double cheeseburger or double chicken sandwich. And that is the concern for public safety. And then we have for making that the triple cheeseburger or triple hamburger. You know where I'm using this as analogies, where disability comes in and mental health has a disability, mental illness as a disability, depression, anxiety, being autistic, those things are considered disabilities, and so individuals that try to bully people, organizations. Again, I have news for you.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

As I've stated before and I'll state it again, I cannot agree with you. I can disagree, not like, like, be lukewarm, but it's okay. There's things that we don't like. There's things that we don't like. There's things that we do like. We have a thing, as I mentioned, called the donut shop right. So I have that right too. I'm able to share experiences.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

I have that free speech that you do as well, and you know who we're. You know you're the person and the people that are the first to download our episodes One of the top cities which is really incredible For all the downloads that popped down Pennsylvania, that that shows up ahead of many, many, many, many other cities. So we know you're watching and I can say hi, hi, scott, how are you doing? Are you feeling okay? You feeling not? Well, well, you can turn the channel, like you do on Netflix or cable. So if you're watching the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast, you don't like what's being said, it's your right to change the channel. But it's also my right, our organization, our guests' right to talk about their experiences, especially when it comes to concern for public safety. So you know we appreciate your interest. Scott, thank you for increasing our download rate. We again we thank you and any other individuals who decide to include the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast in your repertoire of listening or viewing pleasure.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

So now we move on to something called the Take it Down Act, which is actually now the Take it Down law, and first off, I want to thank President Trump, President of the United States. I want to thank First Lady Melania Trump for the support for the take it down. Now it's a law. Now it went from an act to a law that was signed in the Rose Garden at the White House just a mere few weeks ago. And I want to thank Senator Ted Cruz from the great state of Texas for being a champion, for listening.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Taking Ellison Berry, the individual one of the individuals, but one of the most vocal individuals and confident and brave individuals that shared their story of having a photo or two on Instagram turned into a nude photo by an AI program, by somebody at their school, and they didn't know. Ella Sten didn't know until she showed up to school the next day and people were, you know, chit-chatting and she was wondering what's going on. And so, senator ted cruz, you were and are the champion of getting this uh legislation from nothing to the take it down act to now the Take it Down Law. Now it's a federal law. And so what does that mean? It means big tech has to take down altered images, not just for Taylor Swift and people with money like you, scott, it's not just for you, it's for everybody, all United States citizens. The big tech has to do that within 48 hours, take down those pictures. It just has to happen. That's the law.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

You might not like the law, but that's the law.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Thank you, president Trump, for that, thank you, senator Cruz, thank you, amy Klobuchar, to bipartisan and also, not just the photos have to be taken down in that period of time, but individuals that are doing the dirty deed of changing these photos, uploading without permission, these photos uploading without permission, taking purely innocent pictures or what were perceived as private pictures, and so these individuals are able to now be prosecuted as well.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

So, ellis and Barry, we want to say again thank you for your brave and courageousness to step forward, to be on our show a couple of times, to be on a episode, actually next Wednesday, where the whole world is going to see our conversation with our little son and her mom that President Trump used to sign the Take it Down Act into the Take it Down Law. Nothing but love and support from us to Elliston, to Senator Cruz, to Miss Anna, to her father, mr Mark, all the way again to the White House. So that's a little bit of a long way to get to our guest, amanda Solomon again, part two and she has actually been a victim as well to something that could be actually considered against the take it down law. So, amanda, thank you for listening to that elongated intro. How are you impacted?

Amanda Solomon:

Thank you First. Let me start off with saying, yes, thank you for everybody that participated in the Take it Down Act. I never thought I would personally see something like this come into action. So everybody that was involved with that, I want to thank you. So, how I have been impacted In the first episode, you got to hear how my son had been impacted by public safety and the Internet and how people have exploited him, and now this episode is going to be more of my turn and how I have been exploited.

Amanda Solomon:

And I will start off with when my son was exploited. I was exploited as well. The same video, which you know I had stated we are a normal, average family never was in paparazzi until I had met my now husband. Nobody thinks of you don't have money to fight to have stuff taken down and you don't think that there's going to be images of you posted because you're you're a nobody. But when it came to defending my husband, I was one. I had used an AI image that took my face and it put it on a different body and they took the picture and ran it through and said oh look, she's on a porn website. Which a little background.

Amanda Solomon:

My ex-husband was addicted to porn after having a stroke, and that's actually what broke our marriage. Because porn became he became addicted, and he then started trying to accuse my son, which was six at the time, of being the reason behind it, and so I was not gonna allow him. I was standing up for our son and that's when I decided that the marriage was off. There was no working through that. Um, your father should not be exposing you and making you the blame that you know, a six-year-old is looking up specific porn stars' names, not just porn itself, but there were specific names which a six-year-old cannot spell. So, moving on then, when I defended my husband and his victim and they did a video on me stating that I'm a porn star, and the same time I was finding out that I had Pornhub charges on my account for almost $3,000. It ended up being $2,958. Exactly. And this was all coming out the same week that this video was made.

Amanda Solomon:

And, like I had just said, you know, dealing with my ex-husband, I would never allow that, I would never even condone. And so I have these charges. So I call my bank and I'm finding out. They said we're going to send you a code to your phone number and they said it. The phone number ends in O, dot, dot dot. And I said that's not my phone number and this is the only bank account I've ever had. I've never changed my phone number. I did a background search on the one person that has been harassing my husband and, sure enough, the last four digits match the same number that the bank just asked me was my phone number. So that was proof that this man that has been harassing my husband is now harassing me, and all because I am married to him, all because I'm connected to him, all because I know him. And that's it. Um, I was also in the middle of my divorce. My mother had contacted me telling me that this man, brian davis, deserves to have custody of my son.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

What.

Amanda Solomon:

Yeah, this man.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

You don't know, that kind of come out of the blue.

Amanda Solomon:

Yeah, and considering a little background, when my son was six weeks old, I was working for a daycare. I was returning back to work and I was in a room full of 12 infants and my son was in my room with me and I had a toddler. He was 18 months old. Walk on my son while I'm changing diapers and nobody was there to help me. Six weeks old, their body's still fragile. I'm freaking out. They told me I had nothing to freak out about and I told my husband at the time Ryan's biological father that I quit my job and I refused to ever put him in another harmful situation like that again, which then included that whole porn accusing. So when my ex-husband did that, I said no, we're not doing this. You know, I stuck my ground so I never put my kid in that harm's way again.

Amanda Solomon:

So when I'm getting charged for porn that isn't mine and I have a phone number on here that isn't mine and I'm finding out, it's all because I'm supporting my husband, who I'm witnessing autism. I'm witnessing the trauma he's been through. Obviously something has happened. I'm watching the trauma. I'm watching the trauma and for another adult, this man he's in his 70s and I'm told by my own mother that this man deserves custody of my kid, this man that has never met my son. I never even heard of the man until I met my now husband. There's something wrong here, major. So you know, I start questioning my mother's sanity. I'm questioning this man who just randomly wants custody of my kid.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

What does a 70 some year old man want to do with a six-year-old? And it can't be anything good. And they have their own family. So also for our viewers and listeners, it's. It's not a situation that they don't have children of their own. Yes they do.

Amanda Solomon:

They have their own children. They're adult children, so they have grandchildren as well. There is no reason to want my child, unless it's for predatory or predatory reasons. So we have that to deal with. Um, so it's not the fact that I had become this person's enemy. This person seeked me out and this person had a vendetta because of my husband and used me and I became a victim and I had no business. It doesn't matter if you were mad at my husband. The thing is is people don't realize that, like you can have your own life in separate accounts. My husband is not connected to anything of mine. So to go into my own bank account and change my phone number to yours and want my child, that has nothing to do with my husband. You are now attacking the wrong person and you're crossing into that legal lines like I don't care what kind of past you had with him before, but a child has their own safety. I should have my own safety. If you have a vendetta, that's fine and wonderful, but now you're. You're going into victims here and innocent lives, and this is where innocent people are harmed, killed, beaten. I mean this is where human trafficking takes a whole turn. My kid would have never been in the view of this man, all because of just meeting my husband and it can happen to anybody. Just like we stayed in the first episode, it can happen to you, it can happen to anybody. And now, just because you associate with somebody, all of a sudden you become a victim, kind of fast forward.

Amanda Solomon:

I have another situation as well. So I was in a relationship in high school with a guy I thought I was going to marry and everything was great and wonderful until I happened to notice some abuse red flag signs. His name is Kevin Capity. He got into an accident. It was his senior year of high school I had graduated a year or two before and uh, he flipped his truck. We didn't think he was gonna make it and uh, within a month or two, he ends up buying a whole brand new truck. He thought that, uh, when I told him I was moving up and trying to get a full-time job, I was gonna go to school, get a, get my own first credit card to start getting credit so we can settle down, establish ourselves. He said no, and I'm like why he wouldn't give me a reason. I ended up getting my very first cell phone that had a contract. He didn't like that either. He didn't like the fact that I was moving up in the world. It was weird, so I broke it off because I was seeing the abusive signs that he couldn't be better than me. He had to have the truck, he had to have the better job, and then it got to the point where we were only seeing each other once a week, and that once a week determined he would rather hang out with the work people than spend our one-time week together. So I ended it Fast forward.

Amanda Solomon:

He then, within the next year or two, he's hitting on my best friend, he's trying to get in contact with me, um, and while we're together, it was, you know, send me pictures. Well, I was under the impression that to keep him, we had to send pictures, since we were only seeing each other once a week and barely you know. So, okay, so I did. I thought that's how I was supposed to keep him, and so this was again 17, 18, and fast forward to now, which has been 10, 12, 14 years later, I'm seeing these pictures that I sent when I was 17 on a website asking for me, and if they know of me as the slut asking for me and if they know of me as the slut, and not all of them were like nude either. They were provocative, you know, sexy, but nothing too, you know. But the fact of I found out that this website they were uploaded to, which was just October of last year, so it's not something that just happened or happened right after the breakup. It's happening now, a whole century later, a whole century later, and so it's discriminating. And I found out this website is for revenge porn for people that don't like you. If they don't like you, they upload these images and they talk bad about you. And I found out that my ex they upload these images and they talk bad about you.

Amanda Solomon:

And I found out that my ex was mad that I broke up with him, and every time I would date somebody, he would try to slide back into my DMs. He'd ask about them. I'd block him, he'd make a new account and keep harassing me. It never got any better, um, especially then when I went through my divorce and met my now husband, david. He would constantly harass me, mock me, um, but it's funny because he would have a girlfriend and when I would tell her, she'd get mad at me and I'm like well, I, I would figure that you would want to know that stuff like this is happening.

Amanda Solomon:

Um, but I find out I'm the bad guy. He was all jealous because I was always with somebody and I wouldn't be with him, but yet he had a girlfriend. So I'm finding out that this happens to anyone and everyone. Um, they will take images of you they could be innocent and they make you out to look like you're something you're not. And I have tried especially YouTube making this video about me with Brian Davis stating that I am a porn star and I work for porn. And, gee, if I had that kind of money, I don't think I'd be living the life I'm living and also and also, you're getting contacted by random people too, because they took my phone number and posted it, and they claimed to say that David had used this phone number as a half number.

Amanda Solomon:

But in reality, that's the phone number that I've been running my business on and that's where all my editing and all my contacts come through. And, of course, when my phone number got uploaded to the youtube, um, because they thought they were harassing david, I was having men calling my phone, breathing heavily, and they'd sit there and do nothing but breathe until either they would hang up or I would hang up. And again, you know, you think you're harassing somebody, but you're not, and you're harassing an innocent victim. Uh, let's also add the fact at the same time, because allegations and rumors were made that, uh, oh, because I'm a porn star, I'm a drug addict too, so we had to deal with drug searches, we had to deal with drug testing, all this stuff, because I had my son and you know, the minute that I would test positive, I would lose him. Of course, it never happened, because I never touched drugs in my life, and neither has David, so I don't have to worry about that.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

But they still have to go through that and that's what victims deal with.

Amanda Solomon:

It's, it's disgusting and you never think it's gonna happen to you until it does.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Yeah, you're very brave to be talking and sharing your story experiences, because it's hard and I hearkened to my mental health and that and going to therapy and at the beginning and even before that, I didn't want to do it. I thought.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

I could handle everything and I couldn't. And then, once I actually once I came to it, I was finding that I was, at least even if it was like 1%, more freed up in my mind to look at things in a more positive way, in a more productive, not a harmful way, of the path that alcohol and occasional drug use and that we don't realize how much mental health impacts our physical well-being as well.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

And there's no, and what I've found, and I think you as well. And how? And there's no, and what I've found, and I think you as well. The uh number one. You know. People say, oh, we just power through it and get through it.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

It's like not always that easy not always, uh, and then it's not always the symptom that a person would think of. The trauma can resurface. It could be a song, it could be a name, it could be a picture. It could trigger that additional trauma, trauma, even a date, anything. Yeah, a day reading an article, seeing a picture of somebody that's going through something similar, and it's like oh my gosh, and. And then you're thinking, oh and, and then, like you said, with like a song, it's like oh my gosh, and. And then you're thinking oh and and then, like you said, with like a song, it's like, oh well, this was, you know, these these things would start connecting and and and so you're brave to be able to, you'll talk about the these things, because, I mean, it's there, you know, when we talk about these types of things, I mean they're sensitive, they're, they're personal I'm always one to keep stuff to myself.

Amanda Solomon:

I'm not one to I'm. I'm an internal person. That's what I think. David and I work so well david is a more social bird. I'm not. I'm the. I'm the type that you'll you'll be sitting at breakfast and I'm like don't talk. Don't talk to the person next to you. You know, mind your business. They're enjoying themselves. Like, just mind your business.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Mind your business.

Amanda Solomon:

But then I watch him interact with people and he'll be like I made a friend and I'm just like, how he's like, but you got to actually talk to people and I'm like, nope, how he's like, but you've got to actually talk to people and I'm like, nope, nope, I'll stay in my bubble. But because I'm safe that way and I'm learning through these years of trauma, through this ex Kevin, he, like I, stated he keeps making accounts. He, like I stated he keeps making accounts. Actually, around the time that this whole porn stuff started, I had Go Figure A-Name asking me about my Boudar photo shoot that I did.

Amanda Solomon:

I did one for my ex-husband years ago and this one person seemed to know that I did it my ex Kevin Capity, and it's ironic that a Byron Mavis, just like the name, brian Davis how ironic messages me about getting access to these pictures and harassing me, and I started thinking about it and I'm like you know what, the more I live in the shadows, the more I get to deal with this, and if I actually come out and talk about it, there are other people dealing with this too yeah, and, and that's, that's what I've found too, and it's uh, it's, it's incredible.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

You know I could, somebody could be, you know, thinking about ending their life and they hear or see somebody share and go oh, I thought I was the only one going through this. Or I know somebody and maybe I can just share this episode or this particular segment, or this minute or two that talks about it and says you're not alone. And then one of my, one of our previous videos we put out. I was watching an Imagine Dragons concert and Dan Reynolds, the lead singer, just stopped the concert, you know, midway and he talked about his mental health, how important therapy is for him and has been, and uh, and these people are big people.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

You would think they don't need mental health. Yeah, yeah, you think, yeah, they got the money, the cards or whatever. They got all these things and and that's why I I wanted to do the video to say, you know, thanks for you know doing this, because if somebody's at a concert of their out of the hundred thousand or thirty thousand, they're gonna be an individual that's going through something and thinking about you know these absolutely these thoughts and and just the mere fact that like, oh my gosh, no, like, yeah, life, life is worth living, and the more I you know, the more I share, the more, whatever the you know, we start to feel just a little bit better.

Amanda Solomon:

And I think, what if?

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

We got like 20 seconds left. I'm sorry.

Amanda Solomon:

No, it was good. It's just people are scared to share their stuff and I mean, I was scared to speak out before, but living with a husband that has been traumatized for years over his own thoughts and feelings, and I can't stand to sit here and stay quiet anymore.

Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes:

Yeah, and so thank you for that. Thank you for the part one and this part, uh.

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