Voices for Voices®

Can You Get Nervous and Still Shine? | Episode 191

• Founder of Voices for Voices®, Justin Alan Hayes • Season 4 • Episode 191

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Can You Get Nervous and Still Shine? | Episode 191

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Therapy often gets a bad reputation; many view it as a last resort rather than an essential tool for personal growth and healing. In today's podcast, we're opening our arms to redefine and explore the intricate relationship with therapy. I share my deeply personal experiences, recounting how I faced my fears surrounding therapy and how it evolved from a daunting prospect to a crucial part of my life.

Throughout this episode, we explore important themes such as the stigma hindering people from seeking help, the common anxiety we all face—and how it’s okay to feel nervous at every level of success. Engaging conversations with notable figures like Tyrus shed light on how those in the public eye deal with nerves and anxiety, reminding us that we’re all human despite our differences.

Listeners will gain valuable insights into how therapy can take many forms, from group discussions that offer a sense of community to creative expressions like art. This episode serves as an invitation to embrace vulnerability, enrich our emotional literacy, and open the door to deeper conversations surrounding mental health.

We encourage you to share your stories and perspectives on therapy, fostering a community of understanding and support. Join us, and remember that your journey matters—whether it’s through therapy, conversation, or even simple practices that enhance well-being. Don't forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to keep the conversation going!

Therapy can be a challenging subject, often misunderstood and linked to stigma. Sharing my story, I explore how therapy transforms not just our understanding of mental health, but our life experiences.

• Personal journey into therapy and initial resistance
• Stigma and misconceptions around seeking help
• Importance of sharing stories and being open in therapy
• Insightful conversation with Tyrus about nerves and performance
• Practice and preparation as crucial elements for confidence
• Ending stigma around therapy and promoting self-care

Give us a big thumbs up, like, share, comment, and pass along this show, this blessing to me and a blessing to you.

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Justin Alan Hayes:

Welcome to this episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast. I'm your host, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, justin Allen Hayes. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for the support, the love that y'all have given to us, in whatever form that is, whatever form that is spirit, prayers, monetarily, sponsorship we really appreciate the opportunity that we have to come into your lives through our TV show and podcast.

Justin Alan Hayes:

Therapy that sounds just like an ugly word, like when you're in school and you're having an exam and a quiz or a project like oh no, I don't want to. Why do I have to do this project? Why do I have to have this exam? And therapy? The term and the action of therapy also gets that same feedback from a lot of people, myself included. Up until November of 2017.

Justin Alan Hayes:

Therapy was a word that I didn't want to hear. I didn't want to do therapy. I wanted to solve problems all on my own. I didn't want any help Because I, for whatever reason, thought I could fix myself and while we're all in different situations, I, point blank, just wasn't able to fix myself. From the feelings, from the losing the weight, feeling like everything I was allergic to when I was trying to eat, added stress over 138 different things I was feeling guilty of and the like, and so I had a lot of denial. But as I was making the rounds, basically to different emergency rooms around the Northeast Ohio area, I knew something was wrong with me and I wanted, at that point I was at that breaking point where I didn't know if I was going to make it, I didn't know if I was going to survive that's pretty deep made that decision finally, at literally the last point, that psych staff hadn't entered that hospital room Akron General Hospital in November 2017 and didn't offer me I say, offer me a place to stay where I could be observed, where therapy would be happening, where medication may be a possibility. And so when I was introduced to therapy and the psych ward of Akron General Hospital in November 2017. When I sat around the table with probably about 10 or so other individuals and we were going through our stories, basically it was you know what's your name and why are you here, and if anybody's ever been in that situation, for whatever reason not not just being in psych ward uh, for doing uh doing a project and and uh being on the phone or meeting in person uh, for for your profession and that old uh adage of tell me about yourself, what's your name, what do you do for this company, this organization? And still, to this day, I get so nervous when I'm being asked that. And I have had lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of experience doing that and I don't think I've done it well for any of the times. But that that's because we're all individuals and it is what I've learned totally normal to feel nervous.

Justin Alan Hayes:

I met Tyrus. He's a pretty well-known former NWA world champion wrestling. He's on Fox News and forget the beliefs or the what I were on if you listen to how he explains things. It's just common sense, just being frank with with everybody of his thoughts and kind of non-filter. So there's no filter, it just says it how it is. And so when I was able to meet him and prior to meeting him in person in the green room, the gut fell show I was in New York City for presenting one of our awards.

Justin Alan Hayes:

We did a podcast, probably about three or four months prior to that, and you can check that out. It's on our YouTube channel, voices for Voices. You'll have to scroll down quite a bit because we have a lot of content. So there's an episode we did with him. We did it remotely, he was living in Louisiana at the time, so we did that episode and one of the questions I had was about you know how do you feel like when the camera starts rolling and you're being asked to share your opinion on a topic and you know that millions of people are watching or will watch at a you know, if they're, if somebody's working, they might dvr it and then watch at a later time, but there's millions of people tuning in to hear different topics.

Justin Alan Hayes:

And one of the only places that I know that I can go, where I can laugh a little bit, where things are to me they're funny, and laughter is something that I don't do often enough. I'm so buried in my head of what I gotta do. I need to do this thing and that thing and this thing and that thing, and plan this and schedule that and call this individual, email, text this individual, and so so I asked him how he feels, you know, when the cameras are rolling and you know comes his turn to talk and he said, uh, I was like do you get nervous? And he goes. Oh yeah, he's like I get nervous all the time he's like I've been doing this, I've been performing with wrestling and now he's doing a very successful comedy tour. He said you always get nervous at the outset. He's like if you don't get nervous then you're probably doing the wrong thing. You're doing the wrong thing and I had those thoughts prior to having the opportunity to speak with Tyrus.

Justin Alan Hayes:

But when we look at people at different levels, you know here's somebody. But when we look at people at different levels, you know here's somebody. Again, millions of people are tuning in. He's a multimillionaire, so money isn't quite as big of a problem as it can be for others. And here he is talking about yeah, yeah, I get nervous all the time about yeah, yeah, I get nervous all the time. And he also mentioned that once he wants to get started, so once that initial oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh all these people are watching and they're gonna judge what I say and they're gonna respond on the social media. You know all these things that are going on. And he said he's nervous. You're kind of the outset.

Justin Alan Hayes:

Once things get rolling and he gets started, a lot of that nervousness kind of goes away doesn't go away 100%, and I can relate. Every time we do an episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast like this one, like this episode, I get nervous as I'm setting up and getting ready and reviewing the topics and experiences and content. You know we want to, we want to relay, to help again. We want to help 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond. So I'm going to say it till it happens. And then, after 3 billion, then we're going to go to four. Once we go to four, we're going to go to five billion, then we're going to go to four. Once we go to four, we're going to go to five. And that's how we're going to go about things and we have been going about things.

Justin Alan Hayes:

And so the lead up to kind of the red light being on the camera and blinking, showing that, oh, the camera's on and knowing that there's going to be a lot of people that are going to watch this and a lot of people that are going to listen to this, and it really blows my mind and I can't put into words. I am, and everybody is, associated with Voices for Voices. We are, we're honored to have the opportunity to come into your life, whether that's on the video side of things, or the audio or a combination, or reading our transcript for every episode that's out there, our transcript for every episode that's out there. It really again that nervousness it's there.

Justin Alan Hayes:

However, like Tyrus was mentioning when we were speaking, that once you get started speaking and this is really hard to talk about because it's really deep and this has nothing to do with any religious beliefs there are things that we learn. There's things that we do. We learn at a certain age that one plus one equals two. We learn how to say and spell our names, we learn our birthdays, and those things are in our mind and so when somebody asks, oh, oh, what's your name, I say my name, justin Allen Hayes. That comes from experience of going through and being asked over and over and over and over and over again.

Justin Alan Hayes:

It's like practice. It is practice. And if we equate this to sports, if we don't practice, we're going to play our games like we practice. We're going to play our games like we practice. And if we don't put in the time, if we don't put in the full energy into those practices, it's going to show on game days. It's going to show if we're talking about tennis matches, golf, we're not going to be able to just get up off the couch and be the top person in a particular field or be part of a team that's at the top. That type of process is what takes over after the nervousness.

Justin Alan Hayes:

So the preparation and getting ready to film whenever, wherever that may be I mean, we filmed in Ukraine, we filmed in Poland, filmed in Romania, filmed, obviously, in the US and we'll be filming in Italy, coming up at a later date. So, wherever that is, there's still a sense of nervousness, still a sense of nervousness. Then, once we get into our minds, where we revert back to what we know and what we've learned over the years, and so when somebody asks you or I, what is one plus one, we're able to say two, because of the repetitiveness, because of the practice over the years, whether we wanted to practice or not, and that's the whole thing. If we don't want to practice, if we don't want to, if we don't want to, if we want to go, do that thing, nobody's gonna, nobody's gonna support or want to tune in. If you or I are not passionate enough to practice, to share, pour our souls out, being raw and transparent, then we're going to have a really hard time and we still can have a really hard time. I have a really hard time on a lot of things. I'm not the best, I'm not the closest to the best at all, but what I am, and what Voices for Voices is, is an avenue to help others. So when I revert back after that nervousness and anxiousness still anxious, still nervous but I'm speaking from the heart and the mind. That means that we're being authentic.

Justin Alan Hayes:

And you might be wondering when is he going to get back to talking about therapy? He talked about therapy the first minute or two and we're 17 minutes in. So therapy, what I learned again starting in 2017, we went around that table what's your name? Why are you here? And we went from there. We did art. I'm not an artist, we just did art. We did some coloring, we put a collage together of different things, and there were additional group therapy sessions that I was in after I was in the hospital, and so there were some times where we were talking about topics, how we were feeling. We're talking about urges, like when you have the urge to use a substance, how can you alleviate that without doing the thing, without consuming that substance or take those pills that cause the addiction and turmoil in our lives, and so what that is, whether it's art, whether it's talking or listening, that's therapy Right here, right now, is therapy for me. That's what Voices for Voices, one of the things that the organization has done for me, and Voices for Voices as a whole, our whole organization. We've had so much support, so many downloads, views what would minutes watched, hours watched. Downloads, views what would minutes watched, hours watched. Again, we're hitting 300 episodes by the end of 2025. This is therapy. This is what therapy is.

Justin Alan Hayes:

When I go to therapy, say externally, so outside of the show, when I talk to my therapist, the content of talking about where I'm at in life, what's happened since the last time I was at therapy, what's going well, what's not and those questions really aren't, I mean at this point with my therapy. Those aren't questions I have to be asked. Innate ability to reach into our minds and know topics, experiences that we want to chat about. Some we might not, some we may never want to chat about and talk about, but therapy is talking. So how was this event, that event, how's planning going for this, this thing and that thing? So that's that's really how things go, for you know the 30 minutes or so where, where I'm in a room with my therapist and so we talk there's no prying. At this point, I again I'm getting out of it when I'm putting in. So if I don't want to talk about big events, big things that have occurred that are affecting me or that are coming up and they're affecting me and my family, I'm only going to get one of those dominoes. That's in the mind and the heart that, if that particular topic is not talked about, the dominoes are going to build, build, build, build, build, build, and then one day, all the dominoes are going to come down at once, and that is how I crashed mental health wise in 2017.

Justin Alan Hayes:

Again, over 138 different things I felt guilty about and I didn't want to talk about. One of the most, say, transparent things was writing those down, and that was. I wrote 138 different things. I mean, none of these were illegal. There are just things I feel guilty and relationships and, uh, taking advantage of people and and things, and only being in it for myself, where you may be thinking, well course, he's always in it for himself with the show and the organization.

Justin Alan Hayes:

I'm just a doer, I get things done, and so that's why I'm on the show. It's why you're tuning in, either for the first time or the 150th time or 160th time. But this is therapy. It's talking about what's occurring, and, while not every topic and not every guest is going to be your cup of tea, when we talk about life, we have a lot of things that we share in common. We're human beings, we need sleep, we need nourishment those types of things we, as human beings, we all, can relate to, no matter what side of the eye wewear on politically, and any of that stuff.

Justin Alan Hayes:

And I think that's why, after that, nervousness comes preparing and getting set up for a show, arriving at the studio, getting ready to film that way and this way. That's why I'm able to reach back into my mind for things in the past and I'm able to just talk about what's happening in the current time frame, the current space, and that's probably been one of the most healthy things that I'm doing. And so it's because of you, our listener, our watcher, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader, our reader reading the transcript, a donor, a sponsor, a volunteer. It's because of you that I'm able to share things that are happening.

Justin Alan Hayes:

Organization-wise things are happening in life. It all comes back to mental health. It all comes back to recovery. Recovery is not a point in time where, okay, I'm recovered now. It's not that, for me, recovery is having as many tools as possible in the tool belt, whether it's medication, whether that's meeting with my therapist, deciding to show up to meet with my therapist, whether that is following the medication guidelines, not taking more than is prescribed.

Justin Alan Hayes:

All these things are life, excuse me, and you may be in some similar situation in some aspects of Voices for Voices, or you may not. You may be a teacher, you may be a leader, you may be a therapist, and so, by the show, the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast, the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast, specifically by me, sharing such intimate details and experiences that may help you with your day-to-day professional life or your personal life. Or you may know somebody that's been exhibiting different signs, or you've talked about different topics and maybe we have turned the page too quickly, we're not listening and we're just saying all that person, they're crazy. And so, wherever you're at in life, wherever you're at professionally, wherever you're at age-wise, any demographic therapy is not bad, it is not negative. Therapy to me is life. It's talking about life. It's talking about things and experiences that us, as human beings, are going through and have been through.

Justin Alan Hayes:

And we've spoken earlier about driving. Sometimes we hit more green lights, which means we can continue without stopping at that current time, or we're hitting a lot of red lights and it couldn't make it seem like, oh my gosh, things are taking too long, I'm hitting all the red lights. This is going on, that's going on. Those are things that are life. And whether you're driving or whether you're riding with somebody, if you're on a train and the train breaks down, well, the train's gonna stop until it's fixed. If the plane you're gonna board to head somewhere needs fixed, I I want that fixed before I get on the plane, so, while it might take time extra time awaiting I want, I want that fixed, I think. Get on the plane, so, while it might take time extra time, a waiting I want, I want that fixed. I think you would as well.

Justin Alan Hayes:

And these are just human things that we all go through in one way or another, in one day or another, one time or another. So if you're thinking about therapy, if you have judged therapy like I judged therapy prior to 2017 november, maybe give it another look again. It can only help going, going through and if you do go through, be upfront and honest. You're going to get more out of it when you're upfront and honest and talking about the things that are really pulling negative and positive. So until next time. I am Justin Allen Hayes, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices. Thank you for your love and support. Give us a big thumbs up like, share comment, pass along this show, this blessing, blessing to me and a blessing to you. Please be a voice for you or somebody in need.

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